Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego... or Rather, Where in the World is a Conservative in NYC?
New York City: the land of dreams, overpriced apartments, and apparently, a shockingly low population of conservatives. It's like finding a vegan at a Texas barbecue joint. But fear not, fellow right-leaning souls, we're on a mission to uncover the hidden gems (or should we say, redoubts?) where you can actually spot a conservative without using a political microscope.
Staten Island: The Last Bastion?
Let's start with the obvious. Staten Island, you're our unsung hero. You're the one borough that consistently manages to buck the citywide liberal trend. It's like the Bermuda Triangle of political ideologies – things just disappear into conservatism there. If you're looking for a place where you can proudly display a "Don't Tread On Me" flag without getting a side-eye, this is your spot. Just be prepared to answer a lot of questions about why you don't take the ferry.
Queens: A Patchwork of Politics
Queens, you're a wild card. You've got everything from ultra-liberal Astoria to the more conservative Flushing and Bayside. It's like a political melting pot, but with less flavor and more heated debates about property taxes. If you're a conservative looking to blend in, you might find your people in these quieter corners of the borough. Just don't mention the Mets too loudly.
Brooklyn: The Conservative Coyote
Brooklyn, Brooklyn, Brooklyn. You're always trying to be cool and edgy, but let's be real, most of you are just trying to figure out how to afford avocado toast. But hey, there are pockets of conservatism hiding in plain sight. Think Park Slope, but with a touch of fiscal responsibility. Or maybe Bay Ridge, where you can find a surprising number of people who believe in limited government and low taxes. Just don't expect to find a decent slice of pizza.
Manhattan: Mission Impossible
Let's be honest, finding a conservative in Manhattan is like searching for a needle in a haystack, except the haystack is made of quinoa and kale smoothies. But hey, there are exceptions to every rule. The Upper East Side has its moments, and there might be a few holdouts in Midtown. But mostly, you'll be outnumbered and out-veganed.
The Bronx: A Bronx Tale of Conservatism
The Bronx? Conservative? It sounds like an oxymoron, right? Well, not entirely. There are parts of the Bronx where you can find a more traditional, working-class mentality that leans conservative. But let's be clear, this is not the Bronx from the movies. Things have changed.
So, there you have it. A quick and dirty guide to finding conservatives in NYC. Remember, these are just generalizations, and there are always exceptions to the rule. And if you're a die-hard liberal living in one of these areas, don't take it personally. We're all just trying to find our happy place, politically speaking.
How To Find Your Conservative Tribe in NYC
- How to find like-minded people: Join local community groups or political organizations.
- How to avoid political arguments: Learn the art of selective listening.
- How to survive in a liberal environment: Develop a thick skin and a strong sense of humor.
- How to find affordable housing: Consider moving to Jersey. Just kidding (kind of).
- How to maintain your sanity: Remember, it's just a city. There's a whole world out there.
