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Where the Rich Dine: A NYC Foodie's Guide to Extravagance
So, you wanna know where the 1% chow down? Well, buckle up, buttercup, because we're about to dive into the glittering world of NYC's high-end dining scene. Let's be clear: This isn't about good food, it's about expensive food. We're talking about places where the water bill probably costs more than your rent.
The Gold-Plated Gastronomy of Manhattan
- Eleven Madison Park: This place is like a religious experience for food snobs. They serve air, and people rave about it. It's plant-based, which is fancy speak for "we're charging you a fortune for leaves."
- Jean-Georges: Another Michelin-starred monstrosity. Expect to pay a small fortune for a dish that looks like it was painted by Picasso. But hey, at least the wine list is impressive.
- Daniel: If you're into classic French cuisine and have a spare kidney to sell, this is your spot. Just remember, the bread basket is probably more expensive than your car.
Beyond the Obvious: Hidden Gems (for the Very Rich)
Okay, so those places are the obvious choices. But what if you want to impress your super-rich friends with something a little different?
- Le Bernardin: Seafood lovers, rejoice! This place is an aquatic orgasm. But be warned: the oysters probably cost more than a down payment on a Tesla.
- Masa: Sushi so good, you'll question your life choices. It's like eating gold leaf, but with fish.
- The Modern: Located in MoMA, this place is as much about art as it is about food. Just make sure you don't accidentally eat the napkin.
Tips for Surviving a Fancy NYC Dinner
- Dress code: If you're not sure what to wear, just assume it's too casual.
- Wine pairing: This is where the real money is spent. Be prepared to mortgage your house.
- Conversation: Talk about art, philanthropy, or the stock market. Avoid discussing politics or your job as a barista.
How to...
- How to order like a pro: Start with the most expensive thing on the menu. Then order another one.
- How to tip: Aim for 25-30%. Remember, this is their job.
- How to pretend you know wine: Just nod and smile. They probably won't notice you're faking it.
- How to survive the bill: Bring a friend who's a millionaire.
- How to feel superior: Remember, you're eating at a place where the average person can't afford a single dish.