Vikings in the Big Apple: Where Do Those Longships Dock?
So, you're wondering where the heck those horned helmets and axe-wielding dudes park their boats, huh? Well, let's set the record straight: Viking ships aren’t exactly a common sight in the Hudson River. No, they've traded in their oars for online shopping and reality TV. But if they were to show up, where would they tie up their trusty vessels?
The Modern-Day Viking Landing
Let's assume for a moment that Ragnar Lothbrok and his crew decided to skip the whole pillaging and plundering thing and instead opted for a relaxing NYC vacation. Where would they dock their longship? Well, given the size of those babies, Central Park's lake is out. And let's face it, they wouldn't want to deal with the Staten Island Ferry traffic.
So, the most likely spot would be the Manhattan Cruise Terminal. It's big enough to handle those ocean liners, so a Viking ship should fit right in. Just imagine the look on the faces of the tourists as they're boarding their Carnival cruise and a longship pulls up alongside.
Viking Etiquette: Do's and Don'ts
If you happen to encounter a Viking in NYC, here are a few tips:
- Do offer them a hot dog. After all, they've probably never had one.
- Don't challenge them to an arm wrestling contest. They’re Vikings, for crying out loud!
- Do ask about their thoughts on the new Thor movie.
- Don't try to sell them life insurance. They probably have a different outlook on mortality.
Frequently Asked Questions (For Time Travelers)
How to survive a Viking encounter in NYC?
- Answer: Wear a helmet, carry a shield, and have a really good insurance policy.
How to impress a Viking?
- Answer: Know your Norse mythology, be able to brew mead, and have a strong throwing arm.
How to avoid getting your longship towed in NYC?
- Answer: Don't park it illegally, obviously. And maybe invest in a GPS for your ship.
How to order Viking food in NYC?
- Answer: Tough luck. You'll have to settle for pizza.
How to join a Viking crew?
- Answer: Good luck with that. They’re probably all booked up.