Scientology Central: Where to Find the Xenu Faithful in LA
So, you're curious about the Church of Scientology, huh? Well, buckle up, because we're about to embark on a thrilling journey through the heart of Scientology land: Los Angeles.
Scientology: The Hollywood of Religions
Let's be honest, LA is a city that's all about glitz, glamor, and the pursuit of eternal youth. So, it's no surprise that a religion promising spiritual immortality and a whole lot of auditing would find a home here. And boy, did they find one!
The Scientology HQ: A Blue Oasis
The epicenter of Scientology in LA is the Pacific Area Command Base, affectionately known as "Big Blue" due to its, well, blue color. It’s basically the Scientology version of the Pentagon, but with less war talk and more talk about Xenu. You'll find this behemoth on Fountain Avenue.
Other Scientology Hotspots
If Big Blue is the Pentagon, then the rest of Scientology's LA empire is like a network of CIA black sites. There's the Celebrity Centre, where you can learn how to clear your thetan of celebrity gossip. Then there's the Church of Scientology of Los Angeles itself, which is like the Scientology Disneyland, complete with a gift shop selling L. Ron Hubbard-themed merchandise.
How to Spot a Scientologist
Okay, so you want to know how to spot a Scientologist? Well, it's not as easy as you might think. They're not exactly walking billboards. But here are a few clues:
- They're obsessed with auditing: It's like therapy, but with way more jargon and a hefty price tag.
- They love L. Ron Hubbard: This guy is their Jesus, their Buddha, and their Oprah all rolled into one.
- They might be a celebrity: Scientology is like a magnet for famous people. So, if you see someone with a weird haircut and a penchant for sunglasses indoors, they might be one.
How to Avoid Scientology
Look, we're not saying Scientology is bad, but it's definitely not for everyone. So, if you want to avoid it, here are a few tips:
- Don't accept free personality tests: That's their foot in the door.
- Avoid people who talk about "clearing your thetan": Unless you know what that means, it's probably best to steer clear.
- Remember, there are other religions out there: And most of them don't involve aliens and frozen souls.
How-To FAQs
- How to find the Church of Scientology in LA: Just look for a big blue building on Fountain Avenue.
- How to avoid being recruited into Scientology: Don't trust free personality tests and be wary of anyone talking about thetans.
- How to understand Scientology: Good luck with that one.
- How to escape Scientology: It's harder than it sounds, but there are resources available.
- How to respect people's beliefs, even if they're weird: This is the most important one.
So there you have it, a crash course in Scientology LA. Remember, everyone is entitled to their own beliefs, no matter how out there they might seem. Just try not to get sucked into the vortex.