Zaxby's in New York: A Love Story That Never Was
So, you're craving Zaxby's, huh? You want that signature taste of saucy goodness in the heart of the Big Apple. Well, buckle up, because this is a tale as old as time... or at least as old as Zaxby's.
The Great Zaxby's Drought
Let's be honest, New York City is a culinary wonderland. Pizza, bagels, hot dogs – we've got it all. But when it comes to Zaxby's, the city that never sleeps is suspiciously quiet. It's like the chicken finger fairy forgot about us.
Now, I know what you're thinking: "But [insert name of friend who lives in the South], said there's a Zaxby's in New York!" Let me burst your bubble. That friend is either a master troll, or they're confusing New York with New Orleans.
Why, Oh Why, No Zaxby's in NYC?
It's a mystery wrapped in a conundrum, sprinkled with a dash of chicken tenders. Some theories include:
- The Pizza Mafia: Maybe the local pizza moguls have a secret pact to keep any chicken finger competition out.
- A Fear of Sauciness: New Yorkers are known for their bold flavors, but perhaps Zaxby's daring sauces are just too much for them.
- A Cosmic Misalignment: Maybe the planets aligned incorrectly on the day they were planning the New York expansion.
Whatever the reason, it's a tragedy. A culinary crime, even.
What Can We Do?
We can't sit around and wait for Zaxby's to have a change of heart. It's time to take matters into our own hands. Let's start a petition, organize a flash mob, or maybe even write a heartfelt letter to the CEO.
Until then, we can only dream of that day when we can order a Zaxby's meal without having to book a flight to Atlanta.
How To... Zaxby's Edition
While we wait for the day when Zaxby's graces our city, let's learn how to cope:
- How to cope with Zaxby's cravings: Order takeout from your favorite chicken place and pretend really hard.
- How to support the cause: Share this post with your friends and family, and let's flood social media with #ZaxbysToNYC.
- How to prepare for the eventual Zaxby's invasion: Start practicing your "I told you so" face.
- How to make your own Zaxby's at home: Experiment with sauces and chicken tenders until you find the perfect combo.
- How to dream about Zaxby's: Close your eyes and imagine biting into a crispy chicken tender dipped in your favorite sauce.