Epoisses: The Stinky, Sexy Cheese of Your Dreams (Or Nightmares)
So, you're in NYC, the concrete jungle where dreams are made of... and apparently, so is a particularly pungent cheese. You've heard the whispers, the legends, the outright accusations of its odor. Yes, we're talking about Epoisses. That's right, folks, the cheese so strong it could clear a room faster than a fart in an elevator.
Why Would Anyone Want This?
Good question. Epoisses is like that really hot, but kinda messy friend. It's incredibly complex, with flavors that range from buttery and nutty to, well, let's just say "barnyard." It's a cheese that demands respect. Or at least a good ventilation system.
Where to Find This Golden (Or Rather, Orange) Ticket
Now, let's get down to brass tacks. Where can you actually get your hands on this olfactory masterpiece?
- Murray's Cheese: This is probably your safest bet. They have multiple locations around the city and a pretty solid cheese selection. Plus, their staff is usually knowledgeable and won't judge you too harshly if you're a newbie to the world of stinky cheese.
- Bedford Cheese Shop: A smaller, but equally impressive shop with a great selection of artisanal cheeses. They might have a smaller stock of Epoisses, but what they do have is usually top-notch.
- Ideal Cheese Shop: Another solid option, with a focus on European cheeses. They might have Epoisses, but it's always a good idea to call ahead and check.
- Your Local French Market: If you're lucky enough to have a French market near you, they might carry Epoisses. It's a long shot, but worth checking out.
A Word of Warning
Epoisses is not for the faint of heart (or nose). It's a strong cheese with a strong personality. If you're planning on bringing it home, be prepared for your significant other/roommates/neighbors to stage a protest. And for the love of all that is holy, don't open it in a confined space.
How to Enjoy Epoisses
Okay, so you've managed to acquire a wedge of this cheesy gold. Now what?
- Pair it with the right wine: A good Burgundy or Champagne can help to balance out the intensity of the cheese.
- Serve it with crusty bread: This will help to soak up some of the excess oil and flavor.
- Don't be afraid to experiment: Epoisses can be paired with a variety of different foods. Get creative!
How To’s
- How to store Epoisses: Wrap it tightly in parchment paper and store it in the fridge.
- How to serve Epoisses: Bring it to room temperature for about an hour before serving.
- How to handle the smell of Epoisses: Open windows, light candles, and pray.
- How to appreciate Epoisses: Take small bites and savor the flavor.
- How to survive eating Epoisses: Brush your teeth and chew gum afterwards.