In Search of the Perfect Red Hot Chicago Dog
Disclaimer: This post is not sponsored by any hot dog company. I just really, really like hot dogs. Especially Chicago ones.
So, you're craving a Chicago-style hot dog. The kind with the poppy seed bun, the juicy beef frank, the neon green relish, the spicy mustard, the sweet onion, the tangy tomato, the pickled pepper, and a sprinkle of celery salt. You know, the real deal. But where, oh where, can you find this culinary masterpiece outside of the Windy City?
The Great Chicago Hot Dog Hunt
Let's be honest, replicating that perfect Chicago dog at home is a noble pursuit, but it's like trying to teach a cat to fetch – it's possible, but why bother when there might be a professional dog-maker nearby?
Your Local Deli or Butcher:Don't underestimate the power of your neighborhood deli or butcher. They might surprise you with a decent Chicago-style dog. Just be prepared to specify your toppings with military precision. Trust me, there's a world of difference between sweet relish and dill pickle.
Ethnic Grocery Stores:If you're lucky enough to have a Polish or German grocery store nearby, they might carry the essential ingredients. You can assemble your own hot dog army from their arsenal of Vienna beef franks, poppy seed buns, and other condiments.
Online Purveyors:If you're willing to pay a premium for authenticity, there are online retailers that ship Chicago-style hot dog kits right to your doorstep. It's like ordering a pizza from a different city, but with meat.
The Dark Side of the Force (aka Hot Dog Carts)
I know, I know, hot dog carts are tempting. They're convenient, they're usually cheap, and they promise that classic Chicago taste. But let's be real here. Most hot dog carts are about as authentic as a cardboard cutout of Oprah.
Unless you find a cart run by a grumpy old man who looks like he's been making hot dogs since the Great Depression. That might be your ticket to hot dog heaven.
How to Identify a True Chicago Hot Dog Connoisseur
- They can recite the order of toppings from memory.
- They refuse to eat ketchup on a hot dog (it's a cardinal sin).
- They have a strong opinion about the best brand of Vienna beef.
How To...
- How to avoid hot dog disappointment: Do your research. Ask locals, read reviews, and don't be afraid to try different places.
- How to impress your friends: Host a Chicago hot dog party and become the envy of your neighborhood.
- How to eat a hot dog like a Chicagoan: Stand up, eat it with your hands, and don't be afraid to get messy.
- How to make a vegetarian Chicago hot dog: Replace the beef frank with a plant-based alternative. You might get arrested for treason, but hey, at least you're trying.
- How to survive a Chicago winter: Eat a lot of hot dogs. Seriously, it's a proven method.