Where to Watch the Denver Nuggets vs. Houston Rockets: A Survival Guide for the Hopelessly Unathletic
So, you've somehow managed to stumble upon a basketball game. Good for you! Or, maybe you're just a masochist who enjoys watching tall people run around and throw a ball through a hoop. Either way, let's figure out how you can watch the Denver Nuggets take on the Houston Rockets without actually understanding the game.
I Don't Know Basketball, But I Like Watching Stuff Explode
Look, I get it. Sports can be confusing. There are rules, and teams, and people who yell a lot. But let's be honest, the real reason we watch sports is to see epic highlights. So, if you're more interested in dunks that could shatter backboards than the intricacies of a pick-and-roll, here's what you need to know:
- TV Channels: Your best bet is to check your local cable or satellite provider. They probably have a sports channel that will be airing the game. If you're feeling adventurous, you could try streaming services like fuboTV or Hulu + Live TV. Just be prepared to spend more money than you probably should.
- Online Streaming: If you're a cord-cutter (whatever that means), you might be able to find the game online. The NBA's official website or app might have options, but be warned: there might be blackouts in your area. And don't even get me started on illegal streaming.
Survival Tips for Watching the Game
- Learn the Basics: Okay, so you might not care about basketball, but knowing a few basic terms can help you sound like you know what you're talking about. Things like "three-pointer," "rebound," and "foul" will get you started.
- Pay Attention to the Scoreboard: This might seem obvious, but it's actually important. That way, you can at least pretend to be interested in the game.
- Find a Good Commentary Team: A good commentary team can make even the most boring game entertaining. Look for commentators who are funny, informative, and don't take themselves too seriously.
How to Survive the Post-Game Analysis
If you're still alive after watching the game, congratulations! You're officially a basketball survivor. Now, you just have to endure the post-game analysis. Here are some tips:
- Mute the TV: This is the nuclear option, but it works.
- Find Something Else to Do: There's probably a better use of your time than listening to sports analysts talk about the game.
- Pretend to Be Asleep: This is a classic move. Just close your eyes and make soft snoring noises.
How To...
- How to avoid looking like a complete idiot: Just nod and smile when people talk about basketball.
- How to find the best seat in the house: The couch is always a good option.
- How to survive a sports bar: Bring earplugs and a good book.
- How to bet on the game: Don't. Seriously, don't.
- How to impress your friends with your basketball knowledge: Just say "Kobe Bryant" really loud.