Which Building Should You Become One With? A New York Conundrum
New York City, a concrete jungle where dreams are made (and rents are astronomical). It's a place where buildings are as iconic as its inhabitants. But if you were to choose a building to, you know, become one with, which one would you pick? Let's dive into this architectural existential crisis.
The Classic: Empire State Building
Ah, the ESB. This towering titan has been the star of countless movies, TV shows, and proposals. It's like the Brad Pitt of buildings - always handsome, always reliable. But being the Empire State Building comes with its own set of challenges. You’ll be constantly under the spotlight, everyone will expect you to be tall, and you might get a bit tired of people proposing on you.
The Edgy Cool Kid: One World Trade Center
If you're looking for a fresh start and a bit of symbolism, the One World Trade Center might be your jam. You'll be the tallest kid on the block, with views that'll make your head spin. But remember, with great height comes great responsibility. You'll need to be strong, resilient, and always ready for a bird strike.
The Art Deco Diva: Chrysler Building
Want to be a bit more flamboyant? The Chrysler Building is your ticket to stardom. You'll be admired for your style, your curves, and your overall fabulousness. But be warned, maintaining that Art Deco look requires constant upkeep. You'll need a good cleaning crew and a steady supply of gold leaf.
The Underdog: Flatiron Building
If you're more of a free spirit who doesn't like to conform, the Flatiron Building might be your calling. You'll be unique, unforgettable, and a total conversation starter. But let's be real, the wind resistance is probably terrible, and you'll definitely get some weird looks.
The Practical Choice: A Brownstone
Okay, okay, we know skyscrapers are fun, but let's be realistic. A brownstone offers a certain charm and practicality. You'll have character, history, and probably a backyard. Plus, you won't have to worry about elevator maintenance or dealing with tourists.
So, which building should you choose? Ultimately, it depends on your personality and priorities. Do you want to be the center of attention, or do you prefer a quieter life? Are you more concerned with style or substance? Whatever you decide, just remember: being a building is a big commitment.
How to...
- How to survive as a skyscraper: Develop a strong foundation, have a good head for heights, and be prepared for the occasional pigeon problem.
- How to be a friendly neighborhood building: Wave to passersby, offer shade on hot days, and maybe consider a community garden on your roof.
- How to handle being a landmark: Expect crowds, learn to love photobombs, and have a good publicist.
- How to age gracefully as a building: Embrace your wrinkles (or cracks), find a good restoration team, and remember, history is cool.
- How to make friends with other buildings: Attend neighborhood association meetings, share gossip about the local pigeons, and maybe even start a building-wide recycling program.