Who Are These Aldermen, Anyway? A Deep Dive (or Shallow Puddle)
So, you've heard the term "alderman" thrown around Chicago like pizza slices at a Cubs game. But what exactly is an alderman? And why do they seem to hold more power than a deep-dish pizza on a cold night? Let's dive in, shall we?
Aldermen: The Mayors of Your Block (Kinda)
Think of aldermen as the local bosses, the neighborhood overlords. Each one reigns supreme over a specific ward in Chicago. They're like the mayors of their own little kingdoms, wielding power over everything from potholes to park benches. And let's be honest, who doesn't want to be the boss of potholes?
But don't be fooled by their "public servant" titles. These folks are politicians, which means they're as likely to tell the truth as a used car salesman is to offer a fair deal. So, while they might promise to fix those pesky speed bumps, don't hold your breath. Or your wallet, for that matter.
The Aldermanic Power Grab
Aldermen have a special power called "aldermanic prerogative," which basically means they can do whatever they want (within reason, of course). It's like a superhero cape, but instead of fighting crime, they're fighting for better streetlights. Or something.
This power can be a good thing, like when it's used to improve the community. But it can also be a bad thing, like when it's used to, well, let's just say things can get a bit murky.
How to Become an Alderman (Probably Not What You Think)
So, you want to be an alderman? Great! All you need is a thick skin, a love for bureaucracy, and the ability to promise more than you can deliver. Oh, and a whole lot of money for your campaign. But hey, who needs a fulfilling life when you can have your name on a street sign?
How to... Alderman Edition
- How to find your alderman: Check the Chicago government website or ask your neighbor. They probably know who to bribe, er, I mean, contact.
- How to contact your alderman: This one's tricky. Phone calls? Emails? Sacrificing a goat? Your guess is as good as mine.
- How to influence your alderman: Bring them cookies. Lots of cookies. Or maybe a really good deep-dish pizza.
- How to survive an aldermanic meeting: Bring a good book. And maybe a helmet.
- How to become an alderman (seriously): Good luck with that.
Remember, aldermen are just people trying to do their best (or worst, depending on your perspective). So, cut them some slack. Or don't. It's your city.