Who Really Owns the Texas Rangers? A Deep Dive (or Not So Deep)
So, you wanna know who owns the Texas Rangers? Well, buckle up, buttercup, because this is gonna be a thrilling ride. Or maybe not. It's baseball ownership, after all. Not exactly the most exciting topic in the world. But hey, we'll try to keep it interesting.
The Lowdown on the Big Cheese
Let's cut to the chase. The Texas Rangers are currently owned by a group of folks who go by the fancy name of Rangers Baseball Express, LLC. But let's be real, who cares about the LLC? The real bosses are Ray Davis and Bob R. Simpson. These guys are the co-chairmen and the ones who actually hold the purse strings.
Think of them as the Batman and Robin of baseball ownership, except without the cool gadgets and the dramatic rescues. They prefer spreadsheets to utility belts, apparently.
The Mysterious Mr. Davis
Now, if you're expecting a flashy, outspoken owner like Mark Cuban, you're gonna be disappointed. Ray Davis is more of a behind-the-scenes kind of guy. He's like the elusive Bigfoot of baseball ownership: people know he's there, but nobody ever really sees him.
Some say he's a brilliant businessman with a Midas touch. Others say he's just really good at counting money. Whatever the case, he's managed to keep the Rangers afloat, which is more than you can say for some teams.
The Other Guy
Bob R. Simpson? Yeah, he's there too. We don't know much about him, to be honest. He's kind of like the Harry Potter of the ownership group: overshadowed by the more famous character. But hey, maybe he's the brains behind the operation. Maybe he's the one who comes up with all the brilliant baseball strategies. Or maybe he just likes the sound of his own name on the team roster.
How to Become an Owner (Probably Not)
Okay, so you're probably not going to be the next owner of the Texas Rangers. But hey, a girl can dream, right? Here are a few tips to get you started on your baseball ownership journey:
- How to become a billionaire: This is a pretty essential step. Start saving now.
- How to network with other billionaires: You'll need connections. Lots of them.
- How to resist the urge to spend all your money on players: Trust us, it's tempting.
- How to deal with angry fans: This one's tricky. Maybe hire a body guard?
- How to enjoy your life: Because being a baseball owner is supposed to be fun, right?
So there you have it. The Texas Rangers, in all their boring glory. Who knew owning a baseball team could be so... underwhelming?