Who's Next for the Houston Texans? A Tale of Two Cities
So, the Houston Texans have done it! They've defied the odds, shocked the nation, and somehow managed to sneak into the playoffs. Who would've thought, right? I mean, I'm still picking my jaw up from the floor. But here we are, talking about their next opponent.
Ravens or Chiefs? The Wait is Killing Us
Now, the Texans are in a classic "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation. They can either face the Baltimore Ravens, a team that's been looking like a freight train, or the Kansas City Chiefs, who are led by the human highlight reel, Patrick Mahomes. It's like choosing between a root canal and a colonoscopy – neither option is particularly appealing.
On one hand, the Ravens are a physical, punishing team that loves to run the ball. It's like getting tackled by a linebacker every play. On the other hand, the Chiefs have Mahomes, who can turn a broken play into a touchdown with his eyes closed. It's like trying to guard a squirrel on a sugar rush.
Texans: The Cinderella Story That Keeps On Giving
Regardless of who they face, the Texans are definitely the underdogs. It's like watching a team of ragtag misfits win the lottery. But hey, who doesn't love a good underdog story? It's what makes sports so damn exciting.
So, here's to the Houston Texans. May they continue to defy expectations and make the rest of the NFL scratch their heads. Just please, for the love of football, don't let them blow a 28-3 lead.
How to...
- How to handle Texans playoff anxiety: Stock up on beer, pizza, and your favorite stress-relief method.
- How to prepare for a Ravens game: Invest in a neck brace and learn how to tackle.
- How to prepare for a Chiefs game: Practice your "oh my god" face and learn how to spell "Mahomes".
- How to cope with a Texans loss: Remember, there's always next year (or at least that's what we tell ourselves).
- How to enjoy a Texans win: Celebrate like it's your birthday, Christmas, and New Year's Eve all rolled into one.