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Chicago Beaches: Closed More Often Than a Kardashian's Gym
So, you're planning a beach day in Chicago, huh? Well, hold your horses (or should I say, your beach towels). You might be in for a surprise. Because let’s face it, Chicago beaches are more closed than a Kardashian’s gym on a cheat day.
Why, Oh Why, Are You Closed?
You might be wondering, "What gives, Chicago? Why can't I soak up some rays like a normal person?" Well, dear reader, let's dive into the murky waters of this issue.
- Mother Nature's Mood Swings: Lake Michigan is basically a moody teenager. One day it's calm and inviting, the next it’s throwing a tantrum with high waves and rip currents. And let's not forget about those pesky storms that roll in faster than you can say "sunburn."
- Pollution Problems: Chicago is a big city, and big cities have, shall we say, issues. From sewage overflows to industrial runoff, the lake can get pretty gross sometimes. And when it's not safe to swim, the beaches get a big, fat "closed" sign.
- Lifeguards Need a Break Too: Okay, this one might sound harsh, but lifeguarding is a tough job. They can’t be on duty 24/7. So, when they clock out, the beaches have to close. It's like saying "no more slides" at a water park when the lifeguard goes on lunch break.
Beach Days: A Gamble
Planning a beach day in Chicago is like playing Russian roulette, but with sunscreen instead of bullets. You never know if you're going to get lucky or end up sitting on the sand, staring longingly at the water.
So, what can you do?
- Check the Beach Status: Before you pack your cooler, check the beach conditions. There are plenty of websites and apps that can tell you if the beach is open or closed.
- Be Flexible: If your heart is set on a beach day, be prepared to change your plans. There are plenty of other things to do in Chicago, like exploring the city or visiting a museum.
- Embrace the Indoor Life: If all else fails, there's always air conditioning. You can binge-watch your favorite show, order takeout, and pretend you're on a tropical vacation.
How To...
- How to check Chicago beach conditions? Check the Chicago Park District's website or use a beach conditions app.
- How to stay entertained on a closed beach day? Explore the city, visit a museum, or enjoy indoor activities.
- How to prevent sunburn even on a cloudy day? Apply sunscreen with an SPF of 30 or higher every two hours.
- How to pack the perfect beach bag? Include sunscreen, a hat, sunglasses, a towel, snacks, and water.
- How to build a sandcastle that won't collapse? Use wet sand and build a strong foundation.