Where Did All the Alleys Go? A New York Mystery
New York City: the concrete jungle where dreams are made of, and apparently, alleys are not. Ever wondered why you can't casually stroll down a shady alleyway in the Big Apple like in those noir movies? Well, buckle up, because we're about to dive into the murky waters of urban planning history.
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| Why Are There No Alleys In New York City |
The Great Alley Exodus
You'd think a city as packed as New York would be teeming with secret passageways and hidden hideouts. But nope, the city planners had other ideas. It all boils down to the Commissioners' Plan of 1811. This was essentially a blueprint for turning the swampy island of Manhattan into the grid-iron metropolis we know and love (or hate, depending on your commute).
The plan was all about maximizing space and efficiency. Alleys? They were deemed unnecessary luxuries. Every inch of land was precious real estate, and those narrow, shadowy corridors just weren’t cutting it. So, they were unceremoniously kicked to the curb.
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The Alley's Last Stand
Now, before you start picturing a city devoid of any clandestine activity, let's be clear: there are a few alleys hanging on for dear life. Cortlandt Alley, for instance, is a popular filming location, often doubling as the gritty backdrop for countless crime dramas. But these are exceptions, not the rule.
So, next time you're watching a movie set in New York and see a character disappearing into a shadowy alley, just remember: that's probably not happening in real life. Unless, of course, you’ve discovered a secret network of underground tunnels. In which case, please don’t tell anyone.
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Alley FAQs
How to explain the lack of alleys to a confused tourist? Simply tell them that New Yorkers are too impatient to walk an extra block.
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How to feel like you're in an alley without actually being in one? Stand between two tall buildings on a windy day and imagine the trash blowing by.
Tip: Focus on one point at a time.
How to appreciate the lack of alleys? Remember, no alleys means less places to hide from the rain.
How to cope with the desire to explore a mysterious alleyway? Watch a film noir. It’s almost as good.
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How to dream of a world with alleys in New York City? Blame it on watching too many movies.
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