The Great Global Entry Ghost of Houston
So, you're trying to get a Global Entry appointment in Houston, huh? Welcome to the club. It’s like trying to catch a unicorn while riding a unicycle. You know, it’s technically possible, but the odds are about as good as winning the lottery while being struck by lightning.
The Houston Global Entry Hunger Games
It's a battle out there. A digital Hunger Games where the prize is a measly appointment to speed up your return from a vacation. People are refreshing the page faster than a cat chasing a laser pointer. And let's face it, the system is as responsive as a sloth on a Monday morning.
Conspiracy Theories or Just Bad Luck?
We've heard all the rumors: aliens are hoarding the appointments, the government is using it as a population control measure, or maybe, just maybe, there's a secret Global Entry society that's hogging all the good slots. Who knows? But one thing's for sure, it’s frustrating.
Tips and Tricks (Or Lack Thereof)
- Check at Odd Hours: People swear by checking the website at 3 AM. We're not sure if it's true, but hey, desperate times call for desperate measures.
- Be Persistent: Keep trying. It’s like playing the lottery. You gotta be in it to win it. Or at least, to get an appointment.
- Consider Other Airports: If you're feeling adventurous, you might want to explore options in other cities. It's like trading one impossible quest for another, but hey, variety is the spice of life, right?
Remember: Patience is a virtue. Or at least, it's what you need to survive the Global Entry appointment hunt.
How To... Global Entry Edition
- How to Stay Sane While Waiting: Meditate, practice deep breathing, or invest in a really good stress ball.
- How to Increase Your Chances (Maybe): Use appointment-finding tools or services, but be wary of scams.
- How to Cope with FOMO: Remind yourself that you're not alone. Millions of people are in the same boat.
- How to Find Humor in the Situation: Watch cat videos, binge-watch comedies, or write sarcastic posts about it.
- How to Survive Without Global Entry: Embrace the chaos of customs lines and consider it character-building.