Houston: Where Sidewalks Are a Myth
Houston, Texas – a city of dreams, opportunity, and... a peculiar aversion to sidewalks. Yes, you read that right. While the rest of the world is busy tripping over their own feet on concrete slabs, Houstonians are gracefully dodging traffic, playing a real-life game of Frogger that would make any amphibian proud.
The Great Sidewalk Mystery
Now, you might be wondering, "Why, oh why, Houston?" Well, dear reader, let's embark on a journey through time and urban planning (or lack thereof). Back in the day, when dinosaurs roamed the Earth and Houston was just a twinkle in a settler’s eye, cars were as rare as hen’s teeth. People walked, rode horses, or simply teleported (we're assuming the last one is a myth). Hence, sidewalks were as unnecessary as a snowplow in the Sahara.
Fast forward a few centuries, and Houston decided to lean hard into car culture. The city sprawled, freeways multiplied like rabbits, and pedestrians became an afterthought. It's like Houston said, "Sidewalks? Who needs 'em when you can have a 10-lane behemoth of asphalt?"
Walking in Houston: A High-Risk Adventure
So, what's it like to be a pedestrian in Houston? It's a thrilling experience, let me tell you. You'll need nerves of steel, the agility of a parkour champion, and a healthy dose of faith in humanity. Dodging cars, swerving around potholes that could swallow a small car, and navigating the occasional herd of unleashed dogs are all part of the fun.
Pro tip: Invest in a good pair of running shoes. You'll need them.
The Sidewalk Renaissance (Sort Of)
Thankfully, a growing number of Houstonians are realizing that walking, biking, and public transportation aren't just for weirdos. Pressure is mounting on city officials to prioritize pedestrian safety. Slowly but surely, sidewalks are starting to appear in some areas. It's like watching a desert bloom – albeit at a glacial pace.
How to Survive Walking in Houston
- How to cross a street without dying: Time your dash between cars like a seasoned heist movie protagonist.
- How to find a sidewalk: Consult a map of unicorns or search for buried treasure; it's about equally likely.
- How to dress for a Houston walk: Layers! You'll need them to combat the heat, humidity, and sudden downpours.
- How to stay sane: Embrace the chaos. It's either that or become a hermit.
- How to advocate for better pedestrian infrastructure: Write to your city council, volunteer for local organizations, and never give up hope.
So there you have it, folks. Houston: a city where sidewalks are optional, but dodging traffic is mandatory. Happy walking (or driving)!
