Why Are They the Chicago Bears? A Hairy Tale
So, you’re wondering why a bunch of grown men are called the Bears, right? I mean, it's not like they hibernate or anything. It’s a fair question. Let's dive into the murky waters of football history.
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| Why Are They The Chicago Bears |
A Tale as Old as Time (or at least the NFL)
Once upon a time, in a land far, far away (okay, it was Decatur, Illinois), there was a team called the Decatur Staleys. Yes, Staleys. As in, stale bread. Not exactly the most intimidating name for a group of gridiron gladiators. But hey, they made starch, so props to them for consistency.
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Then, a magical thing happened. They moved to Chicago. Now, this was a big deal. It's like moving from a small town to the big city. You gotta change your look, right? So, they did. But instead of getting a fresh haircut or a new wardrobe, they decided to become Bears.
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Why Bears?
The official story is that football players are bigger and tougher than baseball players, and since the Chicago Cubs were a big deal, they decided to be the football equivalent of a big, cuddly bear. It’s like saying a Chihuahua is a miniature lion. Bold move, fellas.
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But let’s be honest, it could have been worse. They could have been the Chicago Mosquitoes or the Chicago Groundhogs. Can you imagine the taunts?
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So, Are They Actually Bears?
No, they're not. They're just a bunch of guys in padded suits trying to score touchdowns. But the name stuck, and now we're stuck with it. Kind of like that questionable haircut you got in college.
How to Bear the Bears
If you're a die-hard Bears fan, you've got to embrace the bear. Here are a few tips:
- How to survive a Bears game: Wear layers. You'll need them for the weather and the rollercoaster of emotions.
- How to explain the Bears to non-football fans: Just say they're like the Cubs, but with more hitting.
- How to deal with Bears fans after a loss: Offer sympathy and chocolate. It might help.
- How to become a Bears expert: Watch a lot of football, drink a lot of beer, and learn to say "Da Bears" convincingly.
- How to keep your sanity as a Bears fan: Lower your expectations and enjoy the ride.
And there you have it, folks. The mystery of the Chicago Bears, solved. Or at least explained.
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