The Great Farmer John Bacon Mystery
So, you're in California, and you're on a quest for the holy grail of breakfast meats: Farmer John bacon. You've searched high and low, from the dusty shelves of your local corner store to the hallowed halls of Whole Foods. But alas, no Farmer John bacon to be found! You're starting to feel like Indiana Jones searching for the Lost Ark, only instead of Nazis, you're battling empty bacon shelves.
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| Why Can't I Find Farmer John Bacon In California |
What Happened to Farmer John?
Let's dive into this bacon-shaped enigma. Once upon a time, Farmer John bacon was as ubiquitous in California as palm trees and overpriced avocado toast. But then, poof, it vanished like a magician's assistant.
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The culprit? Proposition 12, a California law that mandates stricter animal welfare standards for pork. While this is a noble cause, it’s had some unintended consequences. Many pork producers found it too costly to comply, so they simply stopped shipping their product to California. Farmer John, unfortunately, was one of them.
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Baconless in California
It's a tough pill to swallow, we know. But fear not, bacon lover! All is not lost. While Farmer John may be MIA, there are still plenty of other bacon options out there. You might have to expand your horizons and try some new brands. Who knows, you might discover a hidden bacon gem.
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And hey, maybe this is a sign. It’s time to embrace a bacon-free lifestyle. Or at least, a Farmer John-free one. You could try tempeh bacon, turkey bacon, or even tofu bacon (don't knock it till you try it!).
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How to Find a Bacon Replacement
Okay, we know, we know. Bacon substitutes are no match for the real deal. But if you’re absolutely desperate, here are a few tips:
- How to cook tempeh bacon: Marinate tempeh strips in a mixture of soy sauce, maple syrup, and liquid smoke. Grill or bake until crispy.
- How to find local bacon: Check out your local farmers' markets. You might find a small producer who can satisfy your bacon cravings.
- How to make your own bacon: It's more time-consuming, but homemade bacon can be incredibly rewarding. There are plenty of online recipes to guide you.
- How to cope with bacon withdrawal: Seek professional help. Just kidding. But seriously, try indulging in other breakfast treats like pancakes, waffles, or a hearty omelet.
- How to support animal welfare: While we miss Farmer John, it’s important to remember the reasons behind Proposition 12. Consider supporting organizations that promote humane animal treatment.
So there you have it. The Farmer John bacon mystery, solved (kind of). Until then, happy bacon hunting (or substituting)!
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