Why Can't I Just Dip My Toes in My Backyard? A Chicagoan's Lament
Chicago: the Windy City, the Second City, the City of Broad Shoulders. It's also the city where dreams of backyard bliss, complete with an inviting inground pool, often go to die. But why? Let's dive in (pun intended).
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| Why Can't You Have An Inground Pool In Chicago |
The Ground Itself is a Nightmare
First things first, Chicago's soil is a moody, temperamental beast. It’s like trying to dig a hole in a giant mud pie. One minute it's soft and squishy, the next it's as hard as concrete. This makes excavation a nightmare, and let’s be honest, who wants to spend their summer wrestling with clay?
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Water, Water Everywhere, But Not a Drop to Spare
You'd think a city on a lake would have plenty of water, right? Wrong. Chicago has a complex relationship with water. It’s either too much (floods), too little (droughts), or of questionable quality. Add to that the fact that the city has strict water usage regulations, and you’ve got a recipe for pool-building disaster.
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The Ghost of Winters Past
Remember that whole "Windy City" thing? Well, that wind doesn't just chill you to the bone in winter, it also wreaks havoc on anything buried in the ground. An inground pool is basically an oversized ice cube waiting to happen. And let's not forget the freeze-thaw cycle, which can cause serious damage to pool structures.
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The Neighbors Might Have Something to Say
Chicagoans are a passionate bunch, and they have opinions. Your dream pool might be their worst nightmare. Noise complaints, property value concerns, and the ever-present fear of chlorine-induced eye irritation could turn your backyard oasis into a neighborhood battleground.
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The Cost is a Total Downer
Even if you manage to overcome all these obstacles, you'll still have to face the cold, hard truth: building an inground pool in Chicago is expensive. The cost of excavation, materials, and installation can easily send your bank account into hibernation.
So, what's a Chicagoan to do? Well, you could always invest in a top-notch above-ground pool, embrace the lakefront beaches, or simply resign yourself to a life of daydreaming about tropical vacations. Whatever you choose, remember: you're not alone in your pool-less plight.
How to...
- How to survive a Chicago summer without a pool? Embrace the lakefront, invest in a killer sprinkler system, and master the art of popsicle consumption.
- How to cope with pool envy? Remind yourself of the joys of winter sledding, and that your heating bill is probably lower than your pool-owning neighbors'.
- How to dream about pools without feeling guilty? Close your eyes, imagine a warm, sunny climate, and let your imagination run wild.
- How to convince your neighbors you're building a bomb shelter? Just kidding! Don't do that.
- How to find peace with your above-ground pool? Decorate it with inflatable palm trees, host epic pool parties, and remember, it's better than nothing.
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