The Houston Texans: Kicking It Old School (or Not)
Houston, we have a problem. Or rather, we don’t have a kicker. Yeah, you read that right. The land of oil, barbecue, and questionable fashion choices has a glaring hole in its football team: the kicker position. It’s like trying to build a house without a foundation – you can slap up some walls and a roof, but it's gonna crumble eventually.
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| Why Does Houston Not Have A Kicker |
The Curse of the Lone Star State?
Is it something in the water? A voodoo curse placed by a disgruntled fan? Or perhaps it’s just a cosmic joke? Whatever the reason, kickers seem to have a one-way ticket out of Houston faster than you can say “yeehaw”. They come, they kick (or don’t), and then they’re gone. It's like a revolving door for cleats, but without the fancy spinny thing.
QuickTip: Focus more on the ‘how’ than the ‘what’.
The Great Kickoff Caper
So, what happens when a team doesn’t have a kicker? Well, you get creative. The Texans decided to turn their kickoffs into a high-stakes game of Russian roulette. Will the ball sail through the end zone for a touchback, or will it bounce dangerously close to a return? It’s edge-of-your-seat stuff, folks. And let’s not forget the time they tried to sneak in a two-point conversion after every touchdown. It was like watching a toddler try to open a pickle jar – we were all rooting for them, but it was mostly just adorable chaos.
QuickTip: Pay attention to first and last sentences.
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The Search for the Golden Boot
The Texans have been on a relentless quest for the perfect kicker. They've tried every type: the young and hungry, the grizzled veteran, and even a guy who claimed to have once kicked a football over the moon (we’re still not sure about that one). But alas, no kicker has been able to withstand the pressure of playing in Houston. It’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack, except the haystack is on fire and the needle is made of kryptonite.
QuickTip: Read in order — context builds meaning.
So, what’s the deal? Is there something inherently wrong with Houston that repels kickers? Or are they just cursed? Whatever the case, it’s a situation that has left fans scratching their heads and the rest of the NFL chuckling.
Reminder: Revisit older posts — they stay useful.
How to Become a Houston Texans Kicker (Probably Not)
- How to survive the Houston heat: Bring extra sunscreen and a personal hydration pack.
- How to deal with the pressure: Develop a thick skin and a short memory.
- How to make a good first impression: Kick a 60-yard field goal on your first try.
- How to prepare for the unexpected: Practice kicking in a hurricane.
- How to find a place to live: Consider buying a one-way ticket to Australia.
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