The Texans' Kicking Conundrum: A Field Goal-Sized Mystery
The Houston Texans. A storied franchise, rich in history, and apparently, a deep-seated aversion to kickers. It's like they've got a personal vendetta against the upright posts. You'd think finding a kicker would be as easy as finding a Texan with a love for BBQ, but apparently, not so much.
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| Why Does Houston Texans Not Have A Kicker |
The Curse of the Empty Kicker Slot
It's a tale as old as time (or at least as old as the Texans franchise). Kicker after kicker has come and gone, leaving behind a trail of missed field goals and broken hearts. Some blame it on the humidity, others on a voodoo curse cast by a disgruntled fan, but the truth is probably somewhere in between.
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Perhaps the Texans are secretly trying to revolutionize football by eliminating the need for kicking altogether. Maybe they're aiming for a world where every score is a touchdown, and extra points are nothing but a distant memory. Or, hear me out, maybe they're just really good at finding other ways to lose games.
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Life Without a Kicker: A Survival Guide
Living without a kicker is like trying to eat soup with a fork – messy, inefficient, and you're probably going to end up making a bigger mess than you intended. But fear not, Texans fans, we've compiled a few tips to help you survive this kicker-less existence:
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- Embrace the Two-Point Conversion: It's like a rollercoaster of emotions every time. Will they make it? Will they fumble? Will the opposing team return it for a touchdown?
- Start a Pool: Who can predict the most outrageous play to end a drive? It's like office bingo, but with more touchdowns and less free coffee.
- Learn to Meditate: Because watching your team repeatedly fail to convert extra points can be a real stress-inducer.
How to Cope with Being a Texans Fan Without a Kicker
- How to find humor in every failed attempt: Channel your inner comedian. Every missed field goal is a new stand-up routine waiting to happen.
- How to avoid talking about the kickers: Just change the subject. Talk about the weather, the economy, or even the Kardashians. Anything is better than discussing the Texans' kicking woes.
- How to prepare for a potential kicker-less season: Stock up on snacks, comfort food, and your favorite adult beverage. You're going to need it.
- How to believe in your team despite the kicker situation: Remember, football is more than just kicking field goals. It's about heart, hustle, and hoping your defense can hold the other team to zero points.
- How to plan your tailgate parties: Focus on the food and drinks, and maybe bring a board game just in case the game gets too stressful.
So, there you have it. The Texans' kicker situation is a mystery wrapped in an enigma, sprinkled with a dash of comedic gold. But hey, at least it's never boring. Here's hoping they find their kicker soon, or at least a really good punter.
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