Why Does UChicago Hate Bridges? Or, the Curious Case of the Missing Engineering Program
Let's talk about the elephant in the Hyde Park room: UChicago and engineering. It's a relationship as likely as a squirrel inventing calculus. Now, before the UChicago alumni start sharpening their pitchforks, let's clarify: this isn't a dig at the school. It's more of a quizzical eyebrow raise.
The Liberal Arts Mafia
UChicago, as we all know, is the intellectual godfather of the liberal arts. It’s where ideas go to wrestle naked in the colosseum of thought. So, when you're busy pondering the metaphysics of a gnat's existential crisis, who has time for building bridges? Or, as the UChicago admissions office might put it, "Why settle for constructing tangible realities when you can deconstruct the very fabric of existence?"
The "We're Too Cool For School" Factor
Perhaps UChicago believes that engineering is too, well, practical. It's like saying a Picasso would be happy painting house numbers. UChicago is about the grand, the abstract, the things that make you question your sanity at 3 AM. Engineering, on the other hand, is about making things that actually work. It's a bit like comparing poetry to plumbing.
Molecular Engineering: The Olive Branch?
Okay, okay, we get it. UChicago isn’t completely averse to tinkering. They've got a Molecular Engineering program. But let's be real, that's more about playing with atoms than building skyscrapers. It's like saying you're a chef because you know how to make a really fancy salad dressing.
So, to sum up: UChicago is a place where you'll learn to think deeply, question everything, and probably develop a strong aversion to PowerPoint presentations. But if you dream of designing roller coasters or building robots, you might want to look elsewhere.
How to...
- How to impress a UChicago student: Quote Nietzsche, discuss the implications of free will, and avoid asking about their career plans.
- How to survive a UChicago winter: Invest in multiple layers of thermal clothing, embrace the hygge, and consider hibernation.
- How to find your people at UChicago: Join a club that aligns with your obscure interests, frequent the Reg, and be prepared to engage in intellectually stimulating debates.
- How to explain to your parents why you're not becoming an engineer: Focus on the life-changing power of a liberal arts education, emphasize the importance of critical thinking, and casually mention the potential for world domination.
- How to get into UChicago: Write an essay that makes the admissions officers question their life choices, develop a unique and compelling intellectual passion, and be prepared to explain why you're not applying to MIT.
