Houston: The NHL's Biggest Ice Hole
Houston, We Have a Problem (With Hockey)
You’d think a city that can handle the heat, humidity, and traffic could handle a little ice hockey. But nope. Houston, the fourth-largest city in the United States, is still waiting for its NHL moment. It's like the NHL is playing a cruel joke on us, a cosmic ice-fishing expedition where Houston is the only hole without a fish.
The Great Hockey Heist
So, what's the deal? Why is Houston, a city with more sports fans than you can shake a hockey stick at, still stuck in the hockey penalty box? Well, it’s a tale as old as time (or at least as old as the NHL’s expansion plans): a mix of bad luck, bad timing, and a whole lot of bad decisions.
Back in the day, Houston actually had a minor league hockey team, the Aeros. They were as popular as a barbecue joint on a Friday night. But alas, they flew the coop for greener (or rather, whiter) pastures. And since then, it’s been a game of chicken between the NHL and Houston ownership.
The Money Shot (or Lack Thereof)
You might be thinking, “Houston is a huge city with a ton of money. Surely they can afford an NHL team.” And you’d be right. But here’s the kicker: owning an NHL team isn’t just about throwing money at the problem. It’s about finding the right owner who’s willing to play the long game. And so far, the right owner hasn’t skated into the picture.
The Weather’s Not the Only Thing Hot
Houston fans are passionate. We bleed orange for the Rockets, cheer for the Texans, and dream of a day when we can do the same for an NHL team. But the NHL seems to think we’re more interested in tacos and margaritas than slap shots and power plays. It’s like they’ve never heard of ice-cold beer on a hot day.
So, will Houston ever get an NHL team? Only time will tell. But until then, we’ll just keep dreaming of a day when we can chant “Go [Houston team name] Go!” while shivering in the air-conditioned comfort of our local arena.
How to Become a Houston Hockey Fan (Just in Case)
- How to learn hockey rules: Start with the basics: goals, penalties, and the offside rule. Then dive into the more complex stuff like icing and power plays.
- How to appreciate the beauty of ice hockey: It’s a game of speed, skill, and strategy. Once you see a really good goal, you’ll be hooked.
- How to survive a hockey game: Dress in layers, bring a blanket, and be prepared to shout your lungs out.
- How to find fellow Houston hockey fans: Look for local watch parties or online communities. There are more of us than you think!
- How to prepare for the day Houston gets an NHL team: Start saving up for season tickets, learn the chant “Let’s Go [Team Name]”, and practice your victory dance.
