Why, Oh Why, Is the Game in Houston?
So, let's talk about the big question on everyone's lips: Why, in the name of all that is holy (or unholy, depending on your team), is the game being played in Houston? A city synonymous with BBQ, humidity, and the occasional rocket launch. It's like the organizers said, "Hey, let's put this game in the most polarizing location possible!"
Houston: The Land of Extremes
Now, don't get me wrong, Houston has its charms. The people are friendly, the food is fantastic, and there's a certain wild energy to the place. But let's be real, it's also a city where the weather can go from "tropical paradise" to "apocalyptic heatwave" in about five minutes. And don't even get me started on the humidity. It's like walking into a sauna with a side of swamp gas.
Possible Explanations (Wild Speculation Included)
- A Secret Plot by the Local BBQ Joints: Maybe the league has a secret deal with the local BBQ joints. Get people to Houston, feed them brisket and ribs until they're in a food coma, and then they'll be too lazy to complain about the game.
- Revenge of the Mosquitoes: Perhaps the Houston mosquitoes, tired of being underestimated, have taken over the league and are using this game as a distraction while they plot world domination.
- A Cosmic Alignment: Maybe the planets aligned in a way that only astrologers understand, and Houston was the only city on Earth that wasn't scheduled for a natural disaster during game time.
Let's Face It, It's Probably Just Business
Okay, let's be realistic. The real reason is probably something boring like TV ratings, ticket sales, or some complex algorithm that only suits-wearing people understand. But hey, it gives us something to talk about, right?
So, what do you think? Is Houston the best place for the big game? Or are we all just counting down the minutes until we can escape the heat and humidity? Let's hear your theories!
How To... Survive the Houston Game
- How to dress for a Houston game: Layers, people, layers. Start with something light and breezy, then add a sweater or jacket for when the AC kicks in. And don't forget your sunscreen!
- How to stay hydrated: Drink plenty of water, even if you don't feel thirsty. Electrolyte drinks are also a good option.
- How to enjoy the game: Focus on the action on the field (or court), and try to ignore the heat and humidity. And remember, there's always beer.
- How to find good BBQ: Ask a local. They'll know the best spots.
- How to survive the traffic: Leave early, use public transportation, or just accept that you're going to be stuck in traffic.