A New Yorker's Guide to Not Getting Mugged (and Other Customs)
New York City. The Big Apple. The concrete jungle. A place where dreams are made of... and pigeons are the real rulers. If you're planning a trip to this iconic metropolis, get ready for a whirlwind of experiences. But before you even think about hailing a yellow cab, let's dive into some essential New York City customs:
1. The Art of the Side-Eye:
New Yorkers are known for their "resting b*tch face." Don't take it personally. It's more of a survival mechanism. We're constantly bombarded with stimuli – honking cabs, screaming vendors, that guy playing the saxophone too loudly. The side-eye is our way of saying, "I see you, but I'm trying to maintain my inner peace."
Pro Tip: If you make eye contact and smile, expect a brief moment of confusion followed by a grudging smile in return.
2. Mastering the Subway System:
The subway is the lifeblood of New York City. It's a labyrinth of tunnels, a symphony of screeching brakes, and a melting pot of humanity.
Pro Tip: * Avoid rush hour at all costs. You'll be packed tighter than sardines in a can. * Learn to read the subway map. It's more complicated than a Rubik's Cube. * Never, ever, ever sit next to someone who's actively avoiding eye contact. They're probably a serial killer. (Just kidding... maybe.)
3. The Etiquette of Walking:
Walking in New York City is an Olympic sport. You'll need agility, reflexes, and a healthy dose of aggression.
Pro Tip: * Walk with purpose. Don't dawdle. You're blocking the flow of human traffic. * Be aware of your surroundings. Dodging pigeons, cyclists, and rogue shopping carts is a daily challenge. * Learn to navigate crowds like a seasoned pro. It's all about the subtle shoulder nudge and the art of the "excuse me."
4. The Cult of Coffee:
Coffee is religion in New York City. You can find a coffee shop on every corner, each vying for the title of "best cup in the city."
Pro Tip: * Learn the lingo. "Iced latte, no foam, extra shot" is a sentence you'll be uttering frequently. * Embrace the "to-go" culture. Sitting down in a coffee shop is a luxury you can rarely afford. * Be prepared to pay a small fortune for your caffeine fix. But hey, it's worth it.
5. The Art of the Conversation:
New Yorkers are known for their bluntness. Don't be offended if someone asks you a direct question like, "Where are you from?" or "What do you do for a living?" It's just their way of showing interest.
Pro Tip: * Be prepared to hold your own in a conversation. New Yorkers are quick-witted and opinionated. * Don't be afraid to express your own views (politely, of course). * Learn to appreciate the city's unique brand of humor. It's often dry, sarcastic, and incredibly self-deprecating.
6. The Importance of Public Transportation:
As mentioned earlier, the subway is king in New York City. But don't forget about the buses! They're a cheaper (and sometimes more scenic) way to get around.
Pro Tip: * Download the MTA app. It will be your best friend for navigating the city's public transportation system. * Be patient. Buses can be unpredictable, especially during rush hour. * Enjoy the ride! You'll see a side of the city that you might miss from the subway.
7. The Ever-Present Threat of Rain:
Be prepared for rain. It can come out of nowhere, and it can be torrential.
Pro Tip: * Always carry an umbrella (or a rain poncho). * Invest in a good pair of waterproof shoes. * Embrace the "wet dog" look. It's practically a New York City uniform.
8. The "Only in New York" Moments:
New York City is full of unique experiences. You might witness a street performer doing something incredible, overhear a fascinating conversation, or stumble upon a hidden gem.
Pro Tip: * Keep your eyes and ears open. * Embrace the unexpected. * Don't be afraid to step outside your comfort zone.
9. The Never-Ending Quest for the Perfect Slice of Pizza:
Pizza is a religion in New York City. There are countless pizzerias, each claiming to have the best slice in town.
Pro Tip: * Do your research. Read online reviews and ask locals for their recommendations. * Be prepared to stand in line. The best pizza places often have long lines. * Enjoy every single bite.
10. The Art of Tipping:
Tipping is expected in New York City. For restaurants, aim for 18-20% of the bill. For cab drivers, 15-20% is customary.
Pro Tip: * Carry cash. * Don't be afraid to tip generously for good service. * **Remember that tipping is a way of showing your appreciation for the hard work of others.
11. The Importance of Self-Preservation:
New York City can be overwhelming at times. Don't be afraid to take a break and recharge.
Pro Tip: * Find a quiet park to escape the noise and chaos. * Treat yourself to a relaxing massage. * Remember to take time for yourself.
12. The Never-Ending Hustle:
New York City is a city that never sleeps. The energy is infectious, and it can be hard to keep up.
Pro Tip: * Embrace the hustle. * Don't be afraid to try new things. * Make the most of your time in this incredible city.
FAQ:
- How to avoid getting lost in the subway? Download the MTA app and use it to plan your route.
- How to order coffee like a local? Keep it simple: "Iced latte, no foam, extra shot."
- How to navigate the crowds? Walk with purpose and be assertive.
- How to find the best slice of pizza? Do your research and ask locals for recommendations.
- How to survive rush hour? Avoid it if possible. If you must travel during rush hour, give yourself extra time.
I hope this guide helps you navigate the exciting (and sometimes overwhelming) world of New York City. Now go forth and explore!
