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- The "Flurry" Fallacy:
- Ah, the dreaded "flurry." That's weather-speak for "we're going to tease you with a single, lonely snowflake and then laugh as you slip on a wet leaf." Don't be fooled. A flurry does not a snow day make. A flurry is a cruel joke played by the atmosphere.
- The "Significant Accumulation" Saga:
- This is where things get interesting. "Significant accumulation" is a subjective term, much like "delicious" or "tolerable." What constitutes "significant" to a kid hoping for a snow day is vastly different from what a sanitation worker deems significant. But we are looking for the kind of accumulation that makes you say "Wow, I can't believe it snowed like this!"
- The "Blizzard of 'Whatever Year It Was":
- New York has seen its fair share of dramatic winter storms. Remember those news reports of "blizzard conditions" and "travel nightmares"? Those were the days! Unfortunately, remembering the exact years is a challenge, because frankly, they all kind of blur together in a flurry of hot cocoa and shoveling.
- The "Where's My Snow Plow?" Lament:
- One of the most reliable indicators of a "real" snowfall is the sight of those giant, lumbering snow plows struggling to clear the streets. If you didn't hear the symphony of scraping metal and angry honking, it probably wasn't a significant snowfall.
- The "Virtual Snowball Fight":
- Instead of actually throwing snowballs, we're now throwing virtual snowballs at each other via social media. It's less messy, but also less satisfying.
- The "Netflix and Chill" Blizzard Survival Guide:
- Forget building snow forts. Our modern survival strategy involves binge-watching our favorite shows and ordering enough pizza to feed a small army.
How to... know if it's really snowing?
- Quick answer: If you can build a snowman that doesn't look like a melted marshmallow, it's probably real snow.
How to... survive a New York City blizzard?
Tip: Read mindfully — avoid distractions.
- Quick answer: Stock up on snacks, find a cozy blanket, and prepare for your internet to go out at the most inconvenient moment.
Tip: Don’t skim past key examples.
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| When Did It Last Snow In New York City |
How to... get a snow day as an adult?
QuickTip: Highlight useful points as you read.
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- Quick answer: Convince your boss that your commute is impossible, even though you work from home. Or just say your internet is down.
How to... tell the difference between a flurry and a real snowfall?
QuickTip: Reading twice makes retention stronger.
- Quick answer: If you can count the snowflakes on one hand, it's a flurry. If you need a snow shovel, it's a snowfall.
How to... make the most of a snow day in NYC?
- Quick answer: Take pictures, drink hot chocolate, and then go back to bed.
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