How to Save Money for John Marston: A Guide for Outlaws on a Budget (or How Not to Be Broke Like Uncle)
Howdy, partners! So, you're playin' Red Dead Redemption 2 and findin' yourself as green as Micah's morals? Don't fret, saddle sores! This here guide is your ticket to ridin' into Beecher's Hope with more cash than Dutch after a good score. Remember, John's got a family to feed, and they ain't takin' kindly to Dutch's "investments" in Tahiti anymore. Time to become a tighterfisted varmint than Cripps with his stew ingredients.
Chapter 1: Pinching Pennies Like Tilly's Pincushion
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Loot Like a Magpie, Sell Like a Fence (But Not Shady Like Strauss): Every feather, trinket, and bottle counts. Those fancy watches on folks in Saint Denis? More like "pawn ticket" watches, am I right? Just don't get caught pickin' pockets by the law – ain't nobody got time for a jailhouse jig.
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Treasure Maps Ain't Just for Pirates: Follow those X's like they're leading to Mrs. Grimshaw's secret stash of hair tonic. Buried gold ain't just shiny, it's the sound of jingle bells in your boots! Except, you know, without the jingle. Unless you like that kinda thing. No judgment.
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Horse Sense Ain't Just for Arabians: Stick with one trusty steed, pardner. That fancy Appaloosa might look fine, but it eats like a stable full of ostriches. Besides, your old nag remembers when you saved it from those Murfrees in Chapter 2. Loyalty's priceless, and it don't require fancy stirrups.
Chapter 2: Tighten Your Belt Like Charles' Corset (But Don't Wear His, That's Weird)
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Crafting is Your New Best Pal: Tonics, ammo, even snake oil - make it yourself! You'll save a fortune compared to those greedy shopkeepers in Valentine. Plus, who knows what Pearson puts in his stew? You ain't wantin' to find out, trust me.
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Gambling? More Like Gamblin' Away Your Future: Poker might seem tempting, but unless you've got Hosea's luck, you'll be singin' the blues like Sean after Blackwater. Stick to dominoes, at least you can use them for somethin' else if you lose.
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Lay Off the Saloon Sauce: Whiskey might drown your sorrows, but it sure as heck won't drown your debts. Remember, every bottle is another bullet you ain't buyin'. Unless you're plannin' a bar brawl, then by all means, drink up. Just don't blame me for the hangover.
Chapter 3: Advanced Frugality - Uncle Would Be Proud (Maybe)
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Invest in the Piggies (But Not Like Micah): The Aberdeen Pig Farm ain't just for squealin' porkers. Let them "rob" you, then come back as John – you'll find Arthur's stash hidden like a squirrel's winter hoard. Just don't tell Abigail, she might use it on those fancy tonic recipes...
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Hunting Ain't Just for Sport: Those tasty bucks and bears ain't just walkin' steaks, they're walkin' cash machines! Sell their pelts, horns, even their eyeballs if someone's got a hankerin' for weird stew ingredients. Just don't ask where those ingredients go.
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Remember, Dutch Ain't Sharing: Don't be a sucker for "investments" or whatever shady scheme Dutch's cookin' up. Keep your hard-earned dough where it belongs – in your pocket, not lining Molly's wardrobe fund.
Bonus Tip: Befriend a rich widow. Just sayin'.
QuickTip: Look for patterns as you read.
There you have it, amigos! With a little elbow grease and these handy tips, you'll be rollin' into Beecher's Hope richer than Strauss after a good grift. Just remember, money ain't everything – but it sure beats eatin' beans with Uncle every night. Now go forth, spread the gospel of frugality, and make John Marston proud (and rich)!
Disclaimer: This guide is for entertainment purposes only. We do not condone any illegal activities, even in-game. Please play responsibly and don't blame us if you get hogtied by the law for pickpocketing that shopkeeper in Saint Denis. We warned you!
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