So You Wanna Become the Only Chording Boy in New York: A Hilariously Unqualified Guide to "The Only Living Boy"
Ah, "The Only Living Boy in New York," that Simon & Garfunkel classic that makes you simultaneously want to pack your bags and curl up with a mug of cocoa. Fear not, aspiring acoustic troubadours, for this (mostly) comprehensive guide will turn you from subway stumbler to serenading sidewalk savior in no time!
Step 1: Acquire a Guitar (Duh)
First things first, you need a trusty six-string steed. Scour dusty attics, cajole your grandma, or unleash your inner Craigslist warrior. Bonus points for vintage coolness, but a cardboard box with fishing line will do in a pinch. Just don't tell Paul Simon.
Step 2: Capo Your Woes Away
Slap that little metal bar on the third fret (unless you're feeling rebellious, then go nuts). This magically transports you to Simon's vocal range, saving you from straining like a chipmunk on helium. Trust me, your neighbors will thank you.
Step 3: Chords, Glorious Chords!
Time to get your fingers tangled. The song revolves around G, C, D, and Em, with a sprinkle of Am thrown in for good measure. Think of it as a delicious sonic salad: crunchy Gs, creamy Cs, tangy Ds, and a hint of bitter Am to keep things interesting. Practice those transitions until your fingers do a synchronized swim routine.
Step 4: The "Hey-Let-Your-Honesty-Shine" Shuffle
Remember that catchy little riff between lines? It's like a miniature disco party for your fretting hand. Slide around on the second and third frets of the A and D strings, sprinkle in some open G, and voila! Instant street cred. Just mind your nails, nobody wants sandpaper solos.
Step 5: Unleash Your Inner Simon (or Art Garfunkel, No Judgment)
Now comes the fun part: singing! Belt it out from the rooftops, whisper it to the pigeons, serenade the bodega cat. Don't worry about hitting every note perfectly, unless you're aiming for a starring role in "Cats" (in which case, good luck). Embrace the spirit, the rawness, the occasional off-key squawk. That's what makes music beautiful, you beautiful bard.
Bonus Round: Pro Tips for Aspiring New York Minstrels
- Master the subway strum: Learn to play in confined spaces amidst screeching brakes and questionable odors. Bonus points for serenading confused tourists.
- Befriend the pigeons: They're your ultimate audience, always eager for a show. Plus, they might share their crumbs.
- Embrace the unexpected: A dropped pick? A rogue kazoo joining in? Roll with it! New York thrives on chaos, and so should your music.
Remember, folks, playing guitar is a journey, not a destination. So grab your cardboard box (or, you know, a real guitar), crank up the Simon & Garfunkel, and unleash your inner music monster. New York's streets await your serenades, even if they pretend not to care.
Now go forth and conquer, oh valiant troubadour! Just maybe take a shower first. Nobody wants a smelly bard, not even the pigeons.
