The coveted blue check: How to become Instagram Insta-famous (or at least look like it)
Ah, the blue check. That little badge of honor that separates the mere mortals of Instagram from the celebrity stratosphere. It's like a digital crown, a neon sign screaming "I'm important, follow me!" But how, oh how, do you snag this elusive mark of internet royalty?
Method 1: Be Beyonce (or at least extremely well-known)
This is the classic route. Are you a global popstar with a legion of devoted fans? A Nobel Prize winner? The world's foremost expert on competitive cheese rolling? If so, congratulations! The blue check practically comes gift-wrapped with your achievements.
QuickTip: Use posts like this as quick references.
Drawbacks: This method requires, you know, actual fame. Not everyone can be Beyonce (although, some of us have the dance moves down pat).
Method 2: The Art of the Humblebrag (But Not Really Bragging)
QuickTip: Revisit this post tomorrow — it’ll feel new.
This is where things get interesting. Here's the secret: Instagram WANTS to verify accounts that people might try to impersonate. So, how do you convince them you're the one and only YOU (and not some imposter trying to steal your internet clout)?
- Become a master of "content creation." We're talking hilarious memes, stop-motion masterpieces using Legos, or food photography that would make even Gordon Ramsay drool. Basically, be the person everyone wants to follow.
- Get yourself featured in "real life" media. Did your cat get interviewed by the local news for its impressive napping skills? Did you win a pie-eating contest? SHOUT IT FROM THE INSTAGRAM ROOFTOPS (but in a tasteful way, of course).
Drawbacks: This method takes time and dedication. There's no shortcut to becoming internet famous (unless you accidentally go viral for, say, tripping over a banana peel in public. But that's a whole other story).
QuickTip: Reread tricky spots right away.
 |
Method 3: The "New Money" Approach (with a twist)
BREAKING NEWS: Instagram has a new program called "Meta Verified"! Now, for a small monthly fee (we're talking fancy-coffee-every-day kind of money), you can basically buy your way to a blue check.
QuickTip: Skip distractions — focus on the words.
Wait, what? Hold on, hold on. This isn't a cop-out (well, not entirely). You still need to meet some basic requirements, like having a complete profile and a history of following the rules. But hey, for some folks, that blue check might just be worth the investment.
Drawbacks: It's not exactly free. Also, some might argue that a bought blue check doesn't hold the same weight as an earned one. But hey, you can't put a price tag on looking Insta-official, right?
So, there you have it! The not-so-secret ways to snag that coveted blue check. Remember, folks, it's not all about the badge. It's about creating great content, having fun, and maybe, just maybe, becoming the next internet sensation (or at least looking like one). Now go forth and gram with confidence (and a sprinkle of humor)!
 |
