Forget the Mansion, You Can Now Buy Your Instagram Status Symbol (Unless You're, Like, Super Not Famous)
Ah, the coveted blue checkmark. That little badge of honor that separates the Beyonces from the wannabe Beyonces (no shade, Queen Bey). It used to be a mysterious status symbol, reserved for celebrities, athletes, and your grandma's cat who somehow amassed a million followers with endless pictures of yarn balls. But fear not, fellow meme-lovers and dog-account enthusiasts, because we're living in the future, baby!
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| How To Buy A Blue Check On Instagram |
Gone are the Days of Begging Meta for Verification (Unless You're Actually Interesting)
That's right, verification is no longer a right of passage for the truly elite. Now, thanks to the magic of Meta Verified (brought to you by the same people who brought us "sponsored stories we definitely didn't ask for"), us mere mortals can snag that blue check for a cool $14.99 a month (unless you're on iPhone, then prepare to shell out an extra three bucks because, well, Apple).
Tip: Train your eye to catch repeated ideas.
Hold on a sec, you say, waving your phone with 17 followers like a tiny flag. Isn't there, like, a whole process? Don't I need to be famous or something?
QuickTip: Copy useful snippets to a notes app.
Well, yes and no. In the olden days (like, last year), you had to convince Instagram that you were constantly being impersonated by rogue accounts (side note: is that really happening to your dog's sock collection account, Brenda?). Now, as long as you can afford the monthly fee and prove you're a real human (driver's license selfie, anyone?), you're basically in!
QuickTip: Pause to connect ideas in your mind.
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The Not-So-Glamorous Perks of Being Verified (Besides Bragging Rights)
So, you've got your blue check. Now what? Well, besides the undeniable social clout and the ability to finally shut up your annoying cousin who keeps asking "why aren't you verified yet?", here are a few other not-so-glamorous perks:
Tip: The middle often holds the main point.
- A fancy little blue shield next to your name. Because apparently, stating your real name on a social media platform isn't enough proof of your identity these days.
- Priority access to customer service. Which basically means you get to wait on hold slightly less than everyone else.
- Exclusive sticker pack. Because everyone loves a good digital high five with a slightly pixelated version of yourself.
Is it worth it? That, my friend, is for you to decide. But hey, at least now you can buy your way into a world of mild inconveniences and slightly faster customer service. Just remember, with great verification comes great responsibility...like, the responsibility to use your platform for good, or at least post some truly hilarious dog memes.
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