The Ultimate Guide to Snagging that Coveted Instagram Blue Tick (Except it's not Really a Guide)
Ah, the blue tick. The holy grail of Instagram. The tiny badge that separates the mere mortals from the verified VIPs. You know you want it, we all do. But those elusive folks at Instagram like to keep the criteria shrouded in mystery, like some kind of digital Illuminati. Fear not, fellow influencer wannabes, because I'm here to share some totally legit (wink wink) hacks to land that blue beauty.
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| How To Get Instagram Blue Tick Hack |
Hack #1: Become a Celebrity (Overnight, Preferably)
This is the most obvious hack, right? Be a world-famous singer, actor, reality TV star (hey, no judgement!). Millions of adoring fans? Check. Paparazzi following you to the grocery store? Double check. Basically, become so insanely famous that Instagram begs you to take their blue tick. Easy, right? nervous sweating
Sub-hack 1A: Claim to be a Distant Relative of a Celebrity
Tip: Don’t rush — enjoy the read.
Maybe superstardom isn't quite in the cards. No worries! Just announce you're Beyonce's long-lost cousin (once removed, twice married, milkman's nephew). Sure, you might get roasted online, but hey, there's no such thing as bad publicity, right? looks over shoulder for Bey's legal team
Hack #2: Master the Art of Photoshop
Who needs reality when you have Photoshop? Doctor those follower numbers up to the millions. Heck, throw in a few fake news articles about your philanthropic efforts (while you're at it, maybe win a Nobel Peace Prize, just to be safe). Instagram will be so impressed by your, ahem, achievements, they'll practically throw the blue tick at you.
Tip: Share this article if you find it helpful.
Sub-hack 2A: Befriend a Photoshop Genius
Don't have the skills to convince people you're Kylie Jenner's BFF? No sweat! Find someone who can expertly turn your poodle into a miniature dragon. Instagram loves a good fire-breathing doggo, and that blue tick will practically materialize.
Tip: Each paragraph has one main idea — find it.
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Disclaimer: I cannot be held responsible for any social media meltdowns or lawsuits resulting from these "hacks."
Hack #3: Comment Extravagantly (and by Extravagantly, We Mean Annoyingly)
Flood the comment sections of celebrities with fire emojis and nonsensical praise. Maybe even throw in a marriage proposal or two (just to keep things interesting). Surely, out of sheer desperation to get you to stop, Instagram will grant you that blue tick as a permanent "do not disturb" button.
QuickTip: Break down long paragraphs into main ideas.
**Sub-hack 3A: Learn a Bunch of Languages (Just for Commenting Purposes) **
Why limit yourself to annoying celebrities in English? Take your comment spamming global! Become a master of emoji speak and broken grammar across every language barrier. Instagram will be so impressed by your, uh, international enthusiasm, they'll have no choice but to verify you.
Please Note: These are terrible, terrible hacks. There's really no shortcut to Instagram verification. It's about building a strong, authentic presence, creating engaging content, and well, maybe a sprinkle of good luck. But hey, if you're looking for a laugh, these hacks are sure to entertain (and maybe terrify) your followers. Just don't blame me when your account gets suspended.
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