How Will I Know It's a Whitney Houston Video? A Totally Tubular Guide for New Jack Swingers (and Us Old Millennials Who Can't Tell VHS From TikTok)
Let's face it, folks. We've all been there. You're scrolling through the vast video wilderness of the internet, desperately trying to find that iconic Whitney Houston song. Maybe it's "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" for your upcoming karaoke battle, or perhaps you need a good dose of "I Will Always Love You" to fuel your latest breakup playlist. But then BAM! You're bombarded with a million thumbnails, all vaguely 80s-looking women with big hair. Panic sets in. Is that Whitney? Is it her evil twin, Brenda? Is this a poorly lit potato commercial in disguise? Fear not, my friends, for I am here to be your Whitney Houston video guru!
The Glimmer of Glam: Wardrobe Warriors
First things first, fashion is key. Whitney Houston was a queen, and she dressed like one. Think: sequins that could blind a disco ball, shoulder pads that could house a family of hamsters, and enough sparkle to rival a supernova. If the woman in the thumbnail looks like she raided your grandma's curtains, it's probably not Whitney.
Subheading: Bonus points for elaborate updos that defy gravity and physics.
The Power of Pipes: Those Vocals Can't Be Faked
Whitney wasn't just another pretty face (though let's be honest, she was ridiculously pretty). She had a voice that could move mountains. If you click on the video and the first thing you hear sounds like a strangled cat auditioning for American Idol, then it's safe to say it's not our girl. Whitney could hit notes that would make angels weep.
Subheading: Pro Tip: If the singer sounds like they're gargling gravel, it's probably not Whitney.
The Vibe Check: Whitney Brings the Feels
Let's talk about the mood. Whitney's videos were all about big emotions. Whether she's belting out a power ballad or grooving to an upbeat dance track, there's always a sense of passion and drama. If the video looks like a low-budget infomercial for a new type of mop, it's a hard pass.
Subheading: Look for wind machines, dramatic close-ups, and enough emoting to make an Oscar winner blush.
Remember, When in Doubt, Google It Out
If you're still unsure after all these detective tips, fear not! The beauty of the internet is that it's at your fingertips. A quick Google search with some keywords like "Whitney Houston + [Song Title] + video" can usually do the trick.
So there you have it! With these handy tips, you'll be a Whitney Houston video expert in no time. Now go forth and conquer the internet, my friends! Just remember, if all else fails, blame it on the boogie.
💡 This page may contain affiliate links — we may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.
