The Great New York CVS Exodus: Where Will You Get Your Unicorn Glitter Lip Gloss Now?
Ah, CVS. Our haven for dubious greeting cards, questionable candy selection, and that one cashier who always seems to be judging your emergency jar of pickles purchase. But fret not, fellow pharmacy fiends, for this isn't a eulogy...entirely. While CVS, like a rogue bottle of CVS brand hand sanitizer, is on a rampage, closing stores across the state, fear not! We'll navigate this retail apocalypse together.
So, Doc, What's the Diagnosis?
Here's the not-so-sweet gist: CVS announced plans to shutter about 900 stores nationwide, with New York taking its fair share of the hit. Why? Well, let's just say the allure of foot massages and kombucha on tap at Whole Foods might be stealing some customers (and probably all the good employees).
The good news? You likely still have a reliable source of overpriced sunscreen and questionable breath mints nearby.
The bad news? Your quest for the perfect shade of " Mermaid Dreams" nail polish might require a slightly longer pilgrimage.
How to Spot a CVS on the Brink?
Let's be honest, some CVS locations have resembled haunted houses for years. But here are some telltale signs a closure might be imminent:
- Empty shelves resembling a post-apocalyptic wasteland. (Except for that entire aisle inexplicably dedicated to seasonal allergy meds...in December.)
- A tumbleweed rolls through the automatic doors.
- The only employee is a single, overworked pharmacist with a thousand-yard stare. (We feel you, pharmacist friend, we feel you.)
Pro Tip: If the only "sale" signs advertise last year's Halloween candy, that's not a discount, my friend, it's a clearance.
Don't Panic! Here's Your CVS Survival Guide:
- Stock Up on Essentials: We all have that one CVS product we can't live without (don't judge, mine is their suspiciously cheap reading glasses). Now's the time to hoard like a squirrel before winter!
- Embrace the CVS Scavenger Hunt: Look, getting your prescriptions might involve a slightly longer walk. But hey, think of it as your daily dose of exercise (partially negated by the inevitable purchase of a giant Snickers at checkout).
- Befriend a Local Pharmacist: Because sometimes, a friendly face and a knowing nod about your questionable life choices is all the medicine you need.
Remember: Retail closures are a fact of life. But hey, at least you won't accidentally buy another box of those "Glow-in-the-Dark-Just-Kidding-They-Don't-Glow" finger paints again.
FAQ: You Ask, We (Maybe) Answer
How to find out if your local CVS is closing?
Unfortunately, CVS hasn't released a specific list of closing stores. But keep an eye on local news or the "store locator" function on their website for updates.
How to prepare for a longer CVS trek?
Invest in comfy shoes and a good audiobook. Trust us, ten minutes listening to "Fifty Shades of CVS Receipts" will make that walk fly by.
How to cope with the emotional distress of a CVS closure?
Retail therapy at a different store! Just don't go overboard and end up needing more CVS...therapy.
How to find a new source of questionable greeting cards?
The internet is a vast and slightly terrifying place. But hey, at least the selection of "Congratulations on Your Divorce" cards is probably better online.
How to convince CVS to bring back those delicious mini peanut butter cups they inexplicably discontinued?
This one's a long shot, but hey, a girl can dream (and maybe start a very aggressive online petition).
This page may contain affiliate links — we may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.
💡 Breath fresh Air with this Air Purifier with washable filter.
