Eivor in England: A Viking's Guide to the Long Weekend (That Actually Lasted Decades)
Ah, England. Land of crumpets, questionable weather, and according to Eivor Varinsdottir, a surprisingly pleasant place to conquer and settle down for a very long time. We're talking years, folks. Like, enough years to build a whole new village, forge alliances that would make Machiavelli blush, and maybe, just maybe, uncover a secret society or two.
But just how long did Eivor spend chilling in England? Buckle up, because we're diving into the hilarious time vortex that is Assassin's Creed Valhalla.
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| How Long Was Eivor In England |
Here Today, Gone... Actually, They Stayed for a While
The game itself doesn't exactly hit you over the head with the passage of time. You could be raiding a monastery one minute and then suddenly Sigurd's giving you the stink-eye about how it's been ages since you last visited Norway. It's like Assassin's Creed Valhalla subscribes to that whole "viking hours" thing, where a raid takes eight real-life hours but feels like a quick afternoon jog.
Tip: Look out for transitions like ‘however’ or ‘but’.
So, how long was Eivor in England? The answer, my friends, is a whopping six years. Six years of forging alliances, building a settlement (complete with a longhouse that would make any interior designer weep), and oh yeah, occasionally indulging in a spot of good old-fashioned Viking raiding.
Eivor's English Escapades: A Six-Year Itinerary (Kind Of)
- Year 1: Arrive in England, make some "friends" (read: terrify the locals into submission). Build a settlement and name it Ravensthorpe, because apparently Eivor wasn't the most creatively gifted Viking.
- Years 2-4: This is where things get blurry. Help various Saxon kings with their little squabbles, make some truly questionable decisions involving the Hidden Ones (those Assassin folks), and maybe take a detour to Vinland for some reason.
- Years 5-6: Things get real. Unravel ancient mysteries, uncover a secret society that's been manipulating things for centuries, and finally figure out what's the deal with that glowing blue eye Eivor's got going on.
Important Note: This itinerary is highly dramatized and does not account for the countless side quests, legendary animal hunts, and epic flyting sessions (Viking rap battles, for the uninitiated) that likely padded out Eivor's stay in England.
Tip: Pause whenever something stands out.
Eivor: The Accidental Long-Term Tenant
So, what can we learn from Eivor's extended stay in England? Well, a few things:
- Vikings were apparently much more patient than pop culture would have us believe.
- Building a successful settlement takes time. And a lot of yelling.
- Sometimes, what starts out as a quick raid turns into a six-year-long historical odyssey.
But hey, at least Eivor made it work!
QuickTip: Pay close attention to transitions.
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Eivor in England: FAQ
How to be a successful Viking raider in England?
- Bring a good battleaxe.
- Learn some basic Anglo-Saxon. Phrases like "We come in peace" will probably come in handy (not really).
- Pack some warm clothes. Apparently, English weather is no joke.
How to build a thriving Viking settlement?
QuickTip: Skim the ending to preview key takeaways.
- Find some good builders. Don't try to do everything yourself, Eivor. You're a raider, not Bob the Builder.
- Stockpile resources. Gotta have enough mead to keep everyone happy.
- Invest in a good longhouse. Comfort is key, even for Vikings.
How to survive six years in England?
- Learn to love the rain. There's no escaping it.
- Make some friends (or at least terrified subjects). You'll need allies.
- Don't poke your nose into ancient prophecies. Seriously, just don't.
How to avoid accidentally uncovering a secret society?
- Mind your own business. This is probably the best advice anyone can give you.
- Don't trust glowing blue eyes. They're usually a bad sign.
How to tell if you've been in England for too long?
- You start craving crumpets. This is a clear sign of Anglicization.
- You find yourself longing for a good thunderstorm. Seriously, what is wrong with you?
- You start wondering if Valhalla even exists. Don't worry, Eivor, it does. Probably.
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