The Great New York Snowpocalypse of... Nevermind, It's June!
Ever wonder how much snow is blanketing the bustling streets of New York City right now? Well, buckle up, intrepid explorer, because you're in for a shocking revelation (or maybe not so shocking, considering it's June).
Hold onto your hats (or shorts, because let's be real), there is currently ZERO snow in New York City. That's right, folks, not a single snowflake, not even a rogue snowball lobbed by a time-traveling ice monster.
Now, before you accuse us of delivering weather reports less exciting than watching paint dry, hear us out! This lack of snow presents a golden opportunity. Here's why:
- You can ditch the snow boots and unleash your fabulous summer footwear. No more trudging through slush like a sad penguin. Hello, world, meet your most stylish self!
- Central Park picnics just got a whole lot more pleasant. No more shivering under a thin blanket, pretending to enjoy a lukewarm sandwich. Pack a basket, grab some sunscreen (because it's actually sunny!), and soak up the beautiful weather.
- Building a snowman is officially off the to-do list. Unless you're a mad scientist who can whip up a sentient snow golem from scratch (in which case, we commend your ingenuity, but also, please don't take over the city).
But wait, there's more! Here are some additional benefits of a snow-free New York City:
- Increased Vitamin D production. Get that sunshine on your skin and boost your mood (and maybe even your immune system... but don't quote us on that).
- Less shoveling, more relaxing. Imagine the possibilities! Read a book, take a nap, learn how to juggle flaming chainsaws (we don't recommend that last one, but hey, it's your free time).
Still bummed about the lack of snow? Don't worry, winter will be here eventually (probably grumbling and muttering about how everyone forgot about it). In the meantime, enjoy the sunshine and all the glorious things a snow-free New York City has to offer!
FAQs:
How to channel your inner snow bunny when there's no snow?
- A. Build a blanket fort and pretend it's a giant igloo. Bonus points for using festive fairy lights.
- B. Crank up the air conditioning and have a snowball fight with crumpled tissues. Just be prepared for some serious static.
How to convince your friends you braved a blizzard in New York?
- A. Post heavily filtered photos of yourself bundled up in a winter coat... in Miami.
- B. Learn a few dramatic phrases in Russian. Nobody questions a shivering New Yorker who can also spout Dostoevsky quotes.
How to avoid a snow tan (because yes, that's a thing)?
- A. Sunscreen. Always sunscreen.
- B. Invest in a wide-brimmed hat that makes you look like a fabulous explorer (or a suspicious beach bum, depending on your outfit).
How to prepare for the inevitable return of winter?
- A. Stock up on hot cocoa and fuzzy socks. Comfort food is key.
- B. Mentally prepare yourself for the existential dread of shoveling your driveway again. We feel you.
How to find out if it ever snows in New York City?
- A. Check a weather forecast app. It's a magical invention.
