Paradise Found: Escaping the Sydney Grind for Lord Howe Island (Without Falling Out of the Plane)
So you've had your fill of dodging rogue pigeons in Hyde Park and arguing with your barista about the merits of oat milk versus soy (spoiler alert: there are none). You're craving a secluded island paradise, a place where the biggest worry is which cocktail to conquer first. Look no further than Lord Howe Island, a UNESCO World Heritage gem boasting translucent lagoons, epic hiking trails, and enough peace and quiet to make a Buddhist monk blush.
But here's the thing, mate: Lord Howe isn't exactly next door. It's a little slice of heaven plopped 600km off the coast of Sydney. Fear not, intrepid adventurer! Here's your hilarious (and vaguely helpful) guide to getting from the Sydney Harbour Bridge to hammock heaven.
Buckle Up, Buttercup: Your Flight to Paradise Awaits
Because let's face it, swimming is great, but not for that distance. QantasLink offers daily flights from Sydney, clocking in at a breezy two hours. Think of it as a scenic nap with complimentary snacks. Don't worry, the plane has a roof, so you won't get sunburnt (unlike that time you tried to bodyboard at Bondi with zero experience).
Pro Tip: If you're prone to airplane woes, channel your inner koala and chomp on some eucalyptus leaves beforehand. Apparently, it works (disclaimer: this is not medical advice and may result in confused flight attendants).
Upon Arrival: No Need to Wrestle a Dolphin for a Ride
Unlike a certain deserted island reality show, there's no need to build a raft out of palm fronds. Most accommodations on Lord Howe provide complimentary pick-up from the airport. Just picture it: you disembark, slightly wobbly from your in-flight snooze, and are whisked away to your island oasis in air-conditioned comfort. Now that's what I call a five-star welcome!
But Wait, There's More!
For those yearning for a touch of Indiana Jones (minus the snakes), a limited number of rental cars are available. Buckle up for an island adventure on four wheels! Just remember, they drive on the left-hand side in Australia, so ditch the death wish and avoid reenacting any Mad Max scenes.
How to Get to Lord Howe Island: FAQ
Q: How long is the flight from Sydney to Lord Howe Island?
A: The flight is a breeze at approximately 2 hours.
Q: Do I need to book accommodation before I fly?
A: Absolutely! Lord Howe has a strict tourist limit, so securing your stay is crucial before booking flights.
Q: Can I take a ferry to Lord Howe Island?
A: Unfortunately, there are no ferries to Lord Howe Island. Flying is your only option (unless you have a private yacht, in which case, can I come along?).
Q: What's the best currency to use on Lord Howe Island?
A: Australian dollars are the way to go.
Q: Do I need to pack my swimmers?
A: Is the Pope Catholic? Of course! Lord Howe Island is practically synonymous with stunning beaches.