So You Think You Want to Be Royal (For a Day): Adventures in Windsor, England
Ever feel like your life is a tad short on tiaras and corgi encounters? Then a jolly good jaunt to Windsor might be just the ticket, my friend! This charming town, nestled amidst the rolling hills of Berkshire, boasts enough regal pomp and circumstance to make you feel like a right posh bloke (or blokette) in no time. But fear not, commoners, there's more to Windsor than just castle walls and fancy hats (though those are pretty darned spectacular too).
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| What To Do In Windsor England |
Stepping into History (with a cheeky grin, of course)
Windsor Castle: A Must-See, Even if You're Not a Royal Groupie Topping the list, of course, is the magnificent Windsor Castle. Now, listen up, this isn't your average museum with dusty old suits of armor (though there are some pretty impressive ones here too). This is the Queen's weekend pad, people! You can practically smell the corgi fur and afternoon tea. Top tip: Try to plan your visit when the Changing of the Guard is happening. It's a right royal knees-up, (though mind the pointy bits on those hats!).
St. George's Chapel: Where History Whispers (and Maybe Royalty Gets Hitched) Think you've seen enough castles? Nonsense! Pop into St. George's Chapel, a stunning example of Gothic architecture. Keep an eye out for the exquisite tombs of English monarchs and try not to swoon at the very spot where Prince Harry and Meghan Markle tied the knot (unless public displays of affection are your thing, then by all means, swoon away!).
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Beyond the Castle Walls: Adventures for Commoners (and the Faintly Intrigued)
Windsor Great Park: Breathe in the Fresh Air (and Maybe Spot a Royal Deer) Escape the hustle and bustle and take a stroll through the sprawling Windsor Great Park. If you're feeling particularly sprightly, tackle the Long Walk, a scenic, tree-lined path that stretches for a whopping 2.6 miles (just don't challenge the Queen to a race). Keep your eyes peeled for the resident deer population – they're practically royalty themselves in these parts.
LEGOLAND Windsor: Unleash Your Inner Child (or Just Embrace the Plastic Awesomeness) Feeling a bit nostalgic for your childhood? Then dive headfirst into the world of LEGOLAND Windsor! Whizz down thrilling rollercoasters built entirely from the humble plastic brick, explore fantastical model cities, and even get your very own mini-me figurine made (perfect for blackmailing your future self, ahem, I mean cherishing forever).
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Eton: Where the Poshest of Poshes Are Schooled (But You Can Still Visit!) Take a peek across the River Thames to Eton, home to the prestigious Eton College. Just try not to feel intimidated by all those young chaps in their pinstripe suits (they probably know more about Latin than you do about your Netflix queue, but hey, no pressure).
FAQ: Your Guide to Conquering Windsor Like a Pro
How to get to Windsor? Trains hurtle you to Windsor from London in under an hour, making it a perfect day trip.
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How to dress for Windsor? Smart casual is the way to go. Unless you fancy a telling off from a Beefeater, leave the ripped jeans and neon t-shirts at home.
How to avoid the crowds? Opt for weekdays over weekends, and if you're visiting during peak season, be prepared to share the castle with your fellow history buffs (and selfie stick enthusiasts).
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How much spending money do I need? Windsor caters to all budgets. Pack a picnic for the park, or indulge in a slap-up afternoon tea at a posh hotel.
How to speak proper English while I'm there? Don't worry, a cheery "hello" and a "thank you" will go a long way. Besides, they might find your accent rather charming (or utterly bewildering, but that's part of the fun, right?)
So there you have it, folks! With a bit of planning and a dash of whimsy, your Windsor adventure awaits. Just remember, keep your elbows off the royal furniture, and for goodness sake, don't feed the corgis cucumber sandwiches (they much prefer sausage rolls, the little rascals). Happy travels!
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