Is the NYC Subway a Petri Dish or a Public Transit System?
Let's talk about something that’s as exciting as watching paint dry – the cleanliness of the NYC subway. Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Oh, great, another person complaining about the subway.” But hold your horses! This isn’t just a rant; it’s a deep dive into the murky waters of subterranean sanitation.
Note: Skipping ahead? Don’t miss the middle sections.
QuickTip: Take a pause every few paragraphs.
Tip: Reread the opening if you feel lost.
Tip: Review key points when done.
The Great Subway Cleaning Myth
We’ve all heard the rumors: they don’t clean the subway, it’s a breeding ground for superbugs, and the only way to survive is to wear a hazmat suit. Well, folks, it’s time to debunk some myths. Do they clean the NYC subway cars? Technically, yes. There are crews who work tirelessly to keep the grimy beast somewhat presentable. But, let's be real, it’s like trying to clean a cat: as soon as you finish one spot, another gets dirty.
The Subway’s Dirty Little Secret
The truth is, the subway is a victim of its own success. Millions of people use it daily, each one bringing their own unique brand of dirt and grime. It’s like a never-ending game of human-induced pollution. And let’s not forget the infamous "track juice," a mysterious concoction that seems to seep from the very bowels of the earth.
How to Survive the Subway
- Dress for the occasion: Layers are your friend. You never know when you'll need to shed a sweater or put on a jacket. And let's not forget the trusty scarf, which can double as a face covering.
- Master the art of avoidance: Develop an uncanny ability to spot the cleanest car from a distance. It’s like being a subway ninja.
- Embrace the chaos: Sometimes, the best approach is to just let go and enjoy the ride. After all, it’s an adventure, right?
How To... Subway Edition
- How to avoid eye contact with strangers: Look at the tracks, count the tiles, or pretend you're engrossed in a book. Just don't make eye contact.
- How to time your subway trip to perfection: Avoid rush hour like the plague. Unless, of course, you enjoy being packed in like sardines.
- How to find a seat: Be quick, be decisive, and don’t be afraid to use your elbows.
- How to survive a subway delay: Bring a good book, download your favorite podcasts, or simply people-watch.
- How to keep your sanity: Remember, you’re not alone. Millions of people endure the subway every day. Find humor in the chaos.
So, the next time you find yourself crammed into a subway car, surrounded by questionable odors and questionable characters, remember: you’re not alone. And hey, at least you’re getting a workout.
