The Great Bridge Caper: A Tragicomedy in Body Count (Don't worry, it's mostly comedic)
Ah, the Baltimore Bridge Incident. A tale that would make even the Grim Reaper chuckle nervously while filling out paperwork. You see, there was this bridge, the Francis Scott Key Bridge, all majestic and whatnot, when WHAM! A rogue cargo ship with a steering wheel possessed by a mischievous poltergeist decides to play bumper cars.
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| How Many Are Dead In Baltimore Bridge Accident |
Bridge? More Like BYE-dge!
The bridge takes a tumble, eight construction workers become human meteorites, and...well, that's where things get a little murky.
Here's the not-so-funny part: Sadly, six of the workers were presumed dead after the incident.
QuickTip: Highlight useful points as you read.
Here's the part that history will probably write in a Monty Python skit voice: Two of the workers, bless their lucky stars, managed to survive the whole "bridge-becomes-confetti" situation. One emerged unscathed, the other with a few bumps and bruises (probably from high-fiving Poseidon for a sweet escape).
The moral of the story? Don't trust cargo ships with commitment issues, and always wear a helmet when working on potentially-rogue bridges.
QuickTip: Take a pause every few paragraphs.
Frequently Asked Questions (Because the Internet Never Sleeps)
How to avoid rogue cargo ships on bridges?
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- Easy! Don't work on bridges. Problem solved (kind of).
How to survive a bridge collapse (just in case)?
Tip: Review key points when done.
- Aim for the water - it's like a giant, wet trampoline (hopefully).
How to tell if a bridge is possessed?
- Look for signs - flickering lights, disembodied laughter, demonic traffic jams. The usual.
How to properly mourn a bridge?
QuickTip: Slow down when you hit numbers or data.
- We suggest leaving flowers (not lilies, those are too funeral-y). Maybe a nice bouquet of dandelions?
How to get to the other side of the river now?
- Patience is a virtue, my friend. Until they rebuild the bridge, maybe invest in a sturdy rubber ducky.
Remember: This is a sensitive topic, but a little humor can help us cope with tragedy. That, and a healthy dose of skepticism towards malfunctioning maritime vessels.
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