The Baltimore Bridge Tumble: A Not-So-Funny Bridge-y Incident (But We Can Still Try)
Ah, the Baltimore bridge collapse of March 2024. A dark day for the city, sure, but also a logistical nightmare for anyone trying to get their crabcakes delivered on time. (Because, let's be honest, that's what Baltimore bridges are truly for).
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| How Many Deaths From Baltimore Bridge Collapse |
The Big Oof: How Many People Fell With the Bridge?
Now, on to the not-so-hilarious part. Six unfortunate souls, members of a construction crew, went down with the bridge. This was a real tragedy, and our hearts go out to their families and friends.
Here's the thing, bridges aren't supposed to be collapsible playthings like a kid's fort. Especially not when they take hard hits from wayward container ships with names that sound like fancy cheese shops ("The Dali," really? Couldn't it have been the "Rusty Bucket" or something more, well, appropriate?)
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The Great Escape: Not Everyone Became Fish Food
But hey, there's always a silver lining, right? In this case, it was two brave construction workers who managed to cling on and get rescued from the drink. Maybe they had some serious upper body strength, or perhaps they just clung to the dream of that post-shift crab feast that was never meant to be. Either way, kudos to them for surviving a situation that would make even Indiana Jones sweat.
So, the final tally: 6 sadly gone, 2 very lucky ducks.
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How To FAQs: Because Knowledge is Power (Especially When Bridges Are Involved)
How to avoid a bridge collapse on your commute? This one's a toughie. Maybe avoid routes with large, malfunctioning cheese shops of the sea (container ships). Opt for scenic detours instead. Trust us, the view (hopefully of a sturdy bridge) is worth it.
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How to become a bridge-collapsing-disaster survivor? Honestly, this should come with the construction worker handbook. But in a pinch, maybe channel your inner gecko and develop some impressive clinging skills.
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How to deal with bridge-related anxiety? Take a deep breath, and remember that statistically, bridges are still way safer than, say, trying to parallel park in rush hour traffic.
How to help those affected by the bridge collapse? There are always ways to support the families of the victims. Look for official channels or disaster relief organizations.
Tip: Stop when you find something useful.
How to get your crabcakes delivered...now? Okay, this might be a lost cause. But hey, maybe you can find a nice, sturdy sidewalk cafe with a view (of a non-collapsed bridge, preferably).
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