So Hot in Portland, You Can Fry an Egg on the Sidewalk (But Please Don't)
Ever heard of that saying, "If you don't like the weather in Oregon, just wait five minutes"? Well, those five minutes must have gotten stuck on fast forward because Portland is currently experiencing a heat wave that would make a dragon sweat.
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| How Many Degrees Is It In Portland Oregon |
Just How Hot is It?
QuickTip: Scan quickly, then go deeper where needed.
We're not talking lukewarm bathwater here, folks. We're talking scorching sun, temperatures hitting 91 degrees Fahrenheit (a sizzling 33 degrees Celsius), and an Excessive Heat Warning in effect.
Fun Facts (Because Misery Loves Company)
Tip: Slow down when you hit important details.
- The current temperature is hotter than the average high for July in Death Valley. Death Valley, people!
- You can forget that morning jog. Unless you're training for a lava flow marathon, that is.
- If you see a puddle, it's probably just a mirage. Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate!
Tips for Surviving the Portland Inferno (Because We Care)
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- Channel your inner lizard. Find some shade, stat!
- Drink all the fluids. Water, sports drinks, that weird flavored sparkling water your aunt brought to Thanksgiving - bottoms up!
- Crank the AC. Unless you're one of those mythical creatures who enjoys feeling like a rotisserie chicken.
- Fire up the grill... for popsicles! Just kidding, on both counts. Maybe.
Tip: Read once for gist, twice for details.
How to Stay Cool When You're Burning Up
Here are some quick tips to help you stay frosty in this fiery furnace:
QuickTip: Look for patterns as you read.
- How to Dress for the Apocalypse (Heatwave Edition): Think light, loose, and breathable fabrics. Linen pants and a flowy shirt are your new best friends.
- How to Make Your Own Personal Oasis: Fill a spray bottle with cold water and mist yourself like a fancy person at a French vineyard.
- How to Turn Your Home into a Cool Cave: Blackout curtains are your BFF. Block that sun out!
- How to Enjoy a "Swim" Without Leaving Your Couch: Grab a big ol' sheet, soak it in ice water, and drape it over yourself. Instant (and slightly ridiculous) pool party!
- How to Channel Your Inner Mermaid (Safely): Take a cool shower, but avoid filling up bathtubs outside - we're in a drought, remember?
So there you have it, folks. A not-so-scientific guide to surviving the Portland heatwave. Stay cool, stay hydrated, and remember, this too shall pass. Eventually. Maybe.
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