2022 in Portland: A Banner Year for... Not Getting Murdered?
Hey everyone, gather 'round and let's talk about Portland, that quirky city known for its delicious donuts, rainy days, and... well, a bit of a homicide problem in recent years. But hey, there's always a silver lining, right? Buckle up, because we're diving into the not-so-thrilling world of 2022 Portland homicides.
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| How Many Homicides In Portland 2022 |
The Great Portland Body Count of 2022 (Not Clickbait, We Promise)
Now, before you start picturing scenes straight out of a horror movie, take a deep breath. While things did get a bit dicey in 2022, it wasn't quite a zombie apocalypse. Here's the lowdown (or should we say, highdown?): Portland sadly saw a record number of homicides in 2022, clocking in at a whopping 101. Yikes. That's more than double the number of times your uncle Rick accidentally trips over the cat during Thanksgiving dinner (sorry, Uncle Rick, we love you).
But wait, there's more! This wasn't just any old homicide year. This was a year that broke records, shattered expectations, and made headlines that would make even your grandma raise an eyebrow.
Where Did All These Homicides Come From? Asking the Real Questions Here
So, what exactly caused this homicide hootenanny? Well, that's a complex question, folks. There are a bunch of factors at play, like gang activity, drug problems, and let's not forget, the ever-present existential dread that comes with being stuck in rush hour traffic.
QuickTip: A short pause boosts comprehension.
Here's the thing: while the specifics are important, for this particular post, let's just say things got a little out of hand.
But hey, at least it wasn't worse, right? (Famous last words?)
So, Should You Be Worried About Getting Murdered in Portland in 2024? (Spoiler Alert: Probably Not)
Look, we're not gonna sugarcoat it. 2022 was a rough year for Portland homicides. But here's the good news: things seem to be calming down a bit in 2023. There have been fewer homicides so far, and hey, maybe that whole "staying indoors because of the rain" thing is finally paying off!
Tip: Jot down one takeaway from this post.
The bottom line: Use common sense, don't wander down sketchy alleys at 3 am (looking at you, college freshmen), and you should be just fine. Plus, there are plenty of delicious donuts to distract you from any lingering anxieties.
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Homicide FAQs: Your Guide to Not Getting Murdered (Probably)
How to avoid sketchy situations in Portland?
- Trust your gut. If something feels off, it probably is.
- Avoid walking alone at night, especially in deserted areas.
- There's a reason why bears travel in groups. Buddy up!
How to deal with the existential dread that might lead to homicidal tendencies?
Note: Skipping ahead? Don’t miss the middle sections.
- Retail therapy! Treat yourself to a delicious donut (or ten).
- Therapy is also a great option, but donuts are cheaper. (We're not medical professionals, please consult a doctor for serious concerns)
- Find healthy outlets for your frustrations, like yoga, screaming into a pillow, or competitive donut-eating contests.
How to get help if you feel unsafe in Portland?
- Contact the Portland Police Bureau at (503) 823-HELP (4357).
- There are also several community organizations that offer support and resources.
How many homicides were there in Portland in 2021?
There were 92 homicides in Portland in 2021. Still not great, but hey, progress!
QuickTip: Stop to think as you go.
How many donuts should I eat to feel completely safe from homicidal rage?
Science is still out on this one, but we recommend starting with a dozen and working your way up.
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