Bridge Over Troubled Water (or River, in This Case)
So, let's talk about that whole Baltimore bridge collapse thing. You know, the one where a ship decided it was time to play demolition derby with a major bridge? Classic Tuesday morning, right?
A Bridge Too Far
I mean, I'm all for maritime adventures and whatnot, but ramming into a bridge? That's just taking things a bit too literally. It's like your GPS told you to "take a left" and you decided to interpret that as "drive through the building."
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Who's Counting?
Now, you're probably wondering about the casualty count. Let's be honest, the real question is: How many people were brave enough to be on a bridge at 1 AM on a Tuesday? Because, let's face it, those are the real heroes of this story.
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But, to answer your question, there were definitely some injuries. I mean, falling into a river is never fun, especially if you're wearing your favorite pair of jeans. Can you imagine the laundry nightmare?
The Aftermath
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The good news is, rescue teams were on the scene quicker than you can say "Captain Obvious." And let's give a round of applause to the divers who had to go into that freezing water. Those folks deserve medals.
Of course, there's also the small matter of rebuilding the bridge. I'm guessing the insurance company is not having a good day. But hey, at least they'll have a cool story to tell at the next industry conference.
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Moving Forward
So, while this whole incident was a major bummer, it’s also a reminder that even the sturdiest structures can be brought down by a rogue ship. Maybe we should start installing airbags on bridges? Just a thought.
How Many Injured In Baltimore Bridge Collapse |
How To...
- How to become a bridge inspector: Get a degree in civil engineering, develop a fear of heights, and practice saying "I told you so" convincingly.
- How to avoid being on a collapsing bridge: Avoid bridges, especially at 1 AM on Tuesdays. Also, consider investing in a good pair of water wings.
- How to build a bridge that can withstand a ship collision: Hire a really good marine architect and pray to the bridge gods.
- How to make a bridge collapse joke: Be careful, it might be a bridge too far.
- How to survive a bridge collapse: Be incredibly lucky, have excellent swimming skills, and hope there's a friendly dolphin nearby.