The Boston Whodunit: How Many Bump-Offs Bedevil Beantown?
Ah, Boston. City of chowder, cheers, and...murder? Maybe not as much murder as you think, my fellow armchair detectives. While Boston's cobblestone streets might whisper tales of gangsters and rum-runners, the truth is the city is about as deadly as a lukewarm cup of Dunkin' Donuts (come at me, Massholes, you know I'm right).
So, How Many Bodies Are We Talking About?
Here's the thing: nailing down a definitive number of yearly homicides is trickier than navigating the Big Dig at rush hour. Data can take a while to compile, and different sources might report slightly different figures. But fear not, intrepid truth-seekers, because I've done the digging for you!
2024 is shaping up to be a particularly peaceful year. As of today, July 6th, there have only been a paltry two homicides. That's an impressive 80% decrease from this time last year. Looks like Boston's criminals are taking up a more relaxing hobby, like perfecting their clam chowder recipe.
But Wait, There's More! A Glimpse into the Grim Past
Now, Boston wasn't always this tranquil. Back in the day, things were a bit more.... Here's a quick snapshot:
- The 90s saw a higher number of homicides, but thankfully, those days are behind us.
- Boston's murder rate has been steadily declining in recent years.
Moral of the story? Boston's streets are safer than ever. You're more likely to get stressed arguing over the pronunciation of "package" than become the victim of a crime.
FAQ: You Got Questions, We Got Answers (Kinda)
How to become a homicide detective in Boston?
This one might require some actual detective work. Try contacting the Boston Police Department for info. But if you're looking to solve mysteries from the comfort of your couch, there's always reruns of "Monk."
How to avoid being a murder victim in Boston?
Don't jaywalk? (Just kidding...mostly.) Seriously though, Boston is a safe city. Use common sense, be aware of your surroundings, and maybe avoid any late-night strolls down Spooky Nook Lane.
How to dispose of a body (hypothetically speaking)?
This is where I draw the line. Let's keep things light and legal, folks. Besides, with Boston's low murder rate, you're more likely to need to dispose of a Dunkin' Donuts coffee gone cold.
How many times has a Red Sox game been interrupted by a murder?
Thankfully, zero! America's pastime should be all about peanuts and seventh-inning stretches, not sirens and flashing lights.
How to make a killer cup of clam chowder (to distract yourself from morbid thoughts)?
Now you're talking! Here's where I can actually help. Just Google "best Boston clam chowder recipe" and get cookin'. Food is always a better mystery to solve than a murder.
