The Great Indianapolis Body Count of 2023: Less Murdery Than Usual, But Still...Murdery
Ah, Indianapolis. City of Indy 500 dreams, delicious pork tenderloin sandwiches, and...well, a homicide rate that would make Jason Voorhees wince. But hey, at least there's progress, right?
This intrepid reporter (me) braved the comment sections of local news outlets (warzone, wouldn't recommend) to bring you the lowdown on the 2023 Indianapolis murder situation. Buckle up, buttercup, because things are about to get... morbidly interesting.
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| How Many People Have Been Murdered In Indianapolis In 2023 |
So, How Many Folks Bought the Farm in 2023?
According to the Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department (IMPD, bless their badge-wearing hearts), a not-so-cheerful 216 people met their untimely demise in the Circle City last year. That's down from the record-breaking 250 of 2021, but let's be honest, 216 is still a number that would make a statistician cry.
QuickTip: Read step by step, not all at once.
Important side note: This number refers to criminal homicides, not including accidents, self-defense, or those pesky officer-involved shootings. We're talking cold-blooded murder, people.
But Wait, There's More! A Breakdown of the Bloody Details
Now, some of you might be wondering, "Hey, how many of these murders were super dramatic mafia hits?" Well, settle down, Scorsese. Most of these were likely run-of-the-mill gang violence or drug deals gone wrong. Still tragic, definitely not recommended for a first date.
Tip: Read once for gist, twice for details.
Here's a fun fact (not really): At least 170 of those homicides involved firearms. You know, that handy tool for, uh, target practice? Apparently, some folks in Indy have a very loose definition of "target."
Is Indianapolis Safe? Should I Cancel My Trip?
Here's the honest truth: Indianapolis has a higher homicide rate than the national average. But unless you're planning on joining a gang or becoming a professional duelist, you're probably fine. Just stick to the well-lit areas, maybe avoid dodgeball tournaments, and you should be good.
Tip: Read at your natural pace.
Still feeling nervous? Check out the IMPD crime map (
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How to Avoid Becoming a Statistic in Indianapolis (2024 Edition)
Alright, time to lighten the mood. Here are some helpful tips to keep yourself safe in Indy (because apparently, this needs to be said):
QuickTip: Stop and think when you learn something new.
How to Avoid Getting Shot:
- Don't join a gang. Shocking, I know.
- Maybe reconsider that late-night stroll through a dark alley.
- Invest in a good quality helmet. You never know when a stray bullet might come your way. (Just kidding...mostly)
How to Not Get Murdered by a Falling Piano:
- Look up before you walk under any suspicious scaffolding.
- Don't park under sketchy pianos. This seems obvious, but apparently, it needs to be said.
How to Not Accidentally Commit Murder:
- Don't play dodgeball with rusty sporks.
- Learn the difference between self-defense and excessive force.
- Take a deep breath and count to ten before resorting to violence.
How to Find Out the Latest Crime Stats:
- Check out the IMPD website (
https://www.indy.gov/activity/incident-reports-and-crime-statistics - Look for reputable news sources, not your grandma's overly dramatic Facebook group.
How to Deal with Existential Dread After Reading This Post:
- Retail therapy! Nothing chases away the blues like a shiny new gadget.
- Distract yourself with cute animal videos.
- Treat yourself to a delicious pork tenderloin sandwich (because hey, you deserve it after all that).
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