The Boston Strangler: Counting Corpses and Cracking Wise (Because Apparently That Happened in the 60s)
Ah, the 1960s. A time of bell bottoms, flower power, and...serial killers with a penchant for neckties? Yes, friends, that's exactly what terrorized Boston between 1962 and 1964. A killer dubbed the "Boston Strangler" left a trail of victims in his wake, and let's just say, keeping track wasn't exactly Woodstock-level chill. So, how many souls did this scarf-wielding maniac send to the great fashion show in the sky?
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| How Many Were Killed By The Boston Strangler |
The Body Count: Buckle Up, Buttercup
Here's the thing: nobody's entirely sure. Thirteen is the number that usually gets thrown around, but conspiracy theorists wilder than a tie-dye mosh pit would have you believe it was more. Why the confusion? Well, for starters, the crimes were all over the place. One minute the Strangler's taking out grandmas, the next it's a young woman in her twenties. Not exactly a signature style, unless "strangulation" counts as a fashion statement (which, let's be honest, it never really did).
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Enter Albert DeSalvo: The Man, The Myth, The Maybe-Murderer
Then there's Albert DeSalvo. This fella waltzed in and confessed to being the Strangler. Seemed like a slam dunk, right? Wrong. Turns out DeSalvo was a notorious liar who enjoyed the spotlight more than a disco ball. DNA evidence eventually linked him to at least one victim, but the jury's still out on whether he was the lone strangler or part of a killer fashion club.
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So, How Many Victims Does That Make?
Officially? Thirteen. Unofficially? Well, that depends on how much tinfoil you have lying around and your tolerance for late-night documentaries with dramatic music.
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The Boston Strangler: A Case Study in Keeping Track of Your Kill Count (Because Apparently Nobody Did in the 60s)
Here's the takeaway: the whole Boston Strangler thing was a mess. Multiple victims, a questionable confession, and enough mystery to make Scooby Doo look like a documentary. But hey, at least it's a reminder to keep good records, folks. Nobody wants their murder spree overshadowed by shoddy bookkeeping.
Tip: Stop when confused — clarity comes with patience.
How To FAQs: Because We Can't Resist a Good List
How to avoid becoming a Boston Strangler victim (since time travel isn't an option): Don't open your door to strangers, especially if they're wearing a bolo tie. Trust your gut, and if something feels off, call the fashion police (or, you know, the actual police).
How to deal with a friend who keeps bringing up the Boston Strangler at parties? Change the subject to something more cheerful, like the existential dread of climate change. Guaranteed to lighten the mood.
How to tell if your neighbor is secretly the Boston Strangler (because hey, you never know): Look for suspicious activity, like a sudden fascination with scarves, overly enthusiastic trips to the dry cleaner, and a basement full of mannequins (because, seriously, who needs that many?).
How to get over your fear of the Boston Strangler (because seriously, it happened in the 60s): Watch reruns of "I Dream of Jeannie." Guaranteed to take your mind off things (and possibly induce a mild headache).
How to tell if you're a good fit for a career in detective work (because maybe you'll solve the Boston Strangler mystery once and for all): Do you have a keen eye for detail, an unwavering sense of justice, and a tolerance for cold case files older than your grandma's favorite sweater? If so, you might just have what it takes!
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