Houston: The Lone Star State's Land Grabber
So, you wanna know how big Houston is? Well, buckle up, 'cause we're about to embark on a journey of epic proportions. Or, rather, epic square mileage.
Houston: Bigger Than Your Ex's Heartbreak
Let's get one thing straight: Houston is not just a city. It's a landmass with a population problem. It's like someone took a ruler, drew a really big circle, and said, "Let's put a city here." And boy, did they.
To put it into perspective, Houston is roughly the size of the entire state of Rhode Island. Yes, you read that right. An entire state could comfortably fit inside the Houston city limits. If Rhode Islanders ever feel cramped, they know where to move.
Beyond the City Limits
But wait, there's more! Houston isn't just about the city itself. We're talking about the Greater Houston area, which is like Houston on steroids. It's a sprawling metropolis that makes the Kardashians' social circle look intimate.
If you're trying to visualize the size of Greater Houston, imagine combining New Jersey, Connecticut, Delaware, and Rhode Island. Still can't picture it? Well, it's big. Really big. Like, "I-can't-believe-how-big-this-place-is" big.
Houston: A Land of Endless Possibilities (and Traffic)
With all that space, you'd think people would spread out a bit, right? Wrong. Houston has embraced the concept of "close quarters but big dreams." Which explains the traffic.
So, the next time someone tells you Houston is just another city, laugh in their face. Because, let's face it, Houston is more like a small country with a really good BBQ scene.
How to... Houston Edition
- How to find parking in Houston: Good luck.
- How to survive a Houston summer: Invest in a pool, a strong AC, and a really good margarita recipe.
- How to navigate Houston traffic: Learn to meditate, listen to audiobooks, or become best friends with your car's GPS.
- How to appreciate the size of Houston: Take a helicopter tour. Or just drive around for a few hours.
- How to order authentic Tex-Mex: Don't mess it up. Just order everything on the menu.