So Your Neighbor's House is Basically a Haunted Dump: A Guide to Condemnation in Oklahoma
Let's face it, Oklahoma. We love our land, our fried onion burgers, and the occasional tumbleweed chase. But even in this paradise, sometimes a house goes rogue. It becomes a haven for dust bunnies the size of raccoons, and the only trick-or-treaters it attracts are those looking for scrap metal. If you find yourself living next to such a dilapidated disaster, you might be wondering: How do I get this thing condemned?
Fear not, fellow Okie! This guide will hold your hand (with a clothespin, just in case) through the process of getting that ramshackle ruin declared officially "unlivable."
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| How To Get A House Condemned In Oklahoma |
Step One: Document, Document, Document!
Because pictures, or in this case, photographic evidence, are worth a thousand complaints. Start snapping pics of the property from every angle. The roof caving in? Got it. The porch swing that looks like it might take a vacation to your kneecap? Flash, bam, thank you ma'am. The more evidence you have, the stronger your case.
Pro Tip: If tumbleweeds are a recurring theme (because, Oklahoma), consider setting up a timelapse camera. The majesty of a dusty wild west dance party will truly solidify the "uninhabitable" vibe.
Tip: Take notes for easier recall later.
Step Two: Who You Gonna Call? (Besides the Ghostbusters)
There are two main routes you can take:
- The City Slickers: If the house is in the city limits, contact your local code enforcement office. They'll be the ones to inspect the property and determine if it violates any safety codes.
- The County Cousins: If the house is out in the sticks (and by sticks, we mean the kind that aren't being held together by duct tape), contact your county's building inspector. They'll have a look-see and see if it meets minimum housing standards.
Remember: Be polite but firm. These folks get a lot of calls, so a little Southern charm goes a long way.
Step Three: The Waiting Game (with Occasional Popcorn)
Once you've filed your complaint, it's time to settle in for some bureaucratic bingo. Inspections happen, reports are written, and lawyers may get involved (because let's be honest, everything's bigger in Texas... and Oklahoma's legal system). This process can take weeks, so channel your inner zen master and rewatch all eight seasons of Schitt's Creek. Trust us, David Rose's wardrobe will distract you from the impending legal drama.
QuickTip: Scan quickly, then go deeper where needed.
Fun Fact: Did you know that Oklahoma has a state bird? It's the Scissor-tailed Flycatcher! Maybe you can convince the inspector to leave some birdseed for these little guys while they're inspecting the condemnable catastrophe.
How to Throw a Condemnation Celebration (Once It's All Over)
- Host a "Going Away Party" for the House: Leave a balloon tied to the mailbox that reads "Don't let the splinters hit you on the way out!"
- Plant a Tree: Replace the eyesore with something beautiful! Plus, it'll help clean the air (which may be necessary after living next to that disaster zone).
- Break Out the Sparklers: Celebrate a cleaner, safer neighborhood! Just remember to follow local fire codes.
FAQ: Condemnation Edition
How to know if a house can be condemned?
A house can be condemned if it has structural issues, health hazards, or major code violations.
QuickTip: Skip distractions — focus on the words.
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How long does it take to get a house condemned?
The process can take weeks or even months.
How much does it cost to get a house condemned?
Note: Skipping ahead? Don’t miss the middle sections.
There's usually no cost to file a complaint. However, if the house is condemned, the owner may be responsible for demolition costs.
How to avoid living next to a condemnable house in the first place?
Get a thorough home inspection before buying and be observant of the neighborhood during the day and night.
How to convince your neighbor to fix their house before it gets condemned?
A friendly conversation might be the first step. If that doesn't work, you can try mediation or involve your local homeowner's association (if you have one).
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