Speed Bumps: The Ultimate Neighborhood Divide
You've seen them. You've hated them. You've probably even sworn at them. Speed bumps. Those loveable, yet infuriating, concrete monstrosities that are supposed to slow down traffic but often just cause road rage and chiropractic bills. But what if you could be the one to unleash this vehicular torture device on your very own Portland street? Let's dive in!
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| How To Get Speed Bumps On Your Road Portland Oregon |
Why Do I Even Want Speed Bumps?
Before we get into the nitty-gritty of how to get these things installed, let's address the elephant in the room: why do you want speed bumps? Are your neighbors racing Nascars down your residential street? Is your kid's tricycle in constant danger of becoming a hood ornament? Or are you just really tired of the sound of screeching tires and revving engines?
Whatever your reason, know that you're not alone. Speeding is a serious problem in many Portland neighborhoods, and speed bumps can be an effective tool for calming traffic. But they're not a magic wand. They won't solve all your neighborhood problems.
The Great Speed Bump Crusade
So, you're convinced that speed bumps are the answer to your traffic woes. How do you go about getting them installed? Well, it's not as simple as calling up the city and saying, "Hey, I want some speed bumps!" There's a process, and it involves a bit of paperwork and, let's be honest, some potential neighbor drama.
Tip: Stop when confused — clarity comes with patience.
Step 1: Gather Your Troops
You're going to need an army. Okay, maybe not an army, but you'll definitely need the support of your neighbors. The more people who are on board with the idea of speed bumps, the better your chances of success.
Step 2: Data, Data, Everywhere
Tip: Skim only after you’ve read fully once.
You're going to need to prove that speeding is a problem on your street. This means collecting data on traffic speeds, accident rates, and any other relevant information. The city is more likely to listen to you if you can back up your claims with hard evidence.
Step 3: The Petition Party
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Once you've gathered your data, it's time to start collecting signatures. A petition is a great way to show the city that there's strong community support for speed bumps.
QuickTip: Pause at transitions — they signal new ideas.
Step 4: The Waiting Game
Now comes the hardest part: waiting. The city will review your petition and data, and then decide whether or not to install speed bumps. This process can take months, or even years. So, be patient, and try not to lose your mind.
Tips for Speed Bump Success
- Be persistent: Don't give up if your first attempt is unsuccessful.
- Build relationships with your neighbors: A strong community can make a big difference.
- Be prepared to compromise: The city may not install speed bumps exactly where you want them.
How to... Speed Bump Edition
How to choose the right location for speed bumps?
Tip: Keep scrolling — each part adds context.
- Identify areas with high traffic volume and speed.
- Consider locations near schools, parks, and crosswalks.
How to deal with angry drivers?
- Ignore them (easier said than done).
- Remind yourself that you're making the neighborhood safer.
How to prevent speed bumps from damaging cars?
- Ensure they're installed correctly.
- Consider using speed cushions instead of traditional speed bumps.
How to maintain speed bumps?
- Report any damage to the city.
- Regularly inspect for wear and tear.
How to live with speed bumps?
- Invest in a good suspension system.
- Embrace the slower pace of life.
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