Texas: Where Football is a Religion (and We Only Have 3 Teams)
So, you wanna know about the NFL teams in Texas, huh? Well, buckle up, 'cause we're about to dive into a world of big hats, bigger stadiums, and even bigger egos. Let's get this party started!
The Lone Star State, Two and a Half Teams
You might think that a state as massive as Texas would be teeming with NFL teams. I mean, we've got everything else here: oil, cattle, and people who wear cowboy boots to church. But when it comes to professional football, we're surprisingly exclusive.
1. The Dallas Cowboys: America's Team (Or So They Say)
Let's start with the big daddy of Texas football: the Dallas Cowboys. These guys are like the Kardashians of the NFL - always in the spotlight, whether they're winning or losing. They'll tell you they're "America's Team," but let's be honest, that's mostly just a marketing ploy. But hey, you gotta respect the hustle.
2. The Houston Texans: The New Kids on the Block
Next up, we have the Houston Texans. These guys are the relative newcomers to the Texas NFL scene, but they've made a name for themselves. Houston's a city with a big personality, and the Texans definitely reflect that. Plus, who can resist a team with a name like "Texans"? It's like they're daring you to not love them.
Where'd Everybody Else Go?
Now, you might be wondering, "Wait a minute, I thought there were more than two NFL teams in Texas." Well, technically, you're not wrong. There have been others. But let's just say they didn't exactly stick around. It's a long and somewhat sad story involving failed relocations and broken hearts. We prefer to focus on the positive, okay?
How to Become a True Texas Football Fan
- How to choose a team: Easy. Pick the one with the coolest mascot or the hottest cheerleaders. Or, if you're feeling adventurous, pick the underdog and root for the upset.
- How to survive a Cowboys game: Wear blue and silver, be prepared to hear your team's name chanted endlessly, and stock up on overpriced beer.
- How to impress Texans with your football knowledge: Learn the difference between a quarterback sneak and a bootleg. And for extra credit, memorize the names of all the Texas high school football state champions.
- How to handle losing: Remember, it's just a game. Unless you bet your house on it, in which case, you might need a bigger house.
- How to enjoy the tailgate: Bring plenty of food, drinks, and chairs. And don't forget the sunscreen. It's Texas, after all.
So there you have it, a crash course in Texas NFL football. Remember, the most important thing is to have fun and enjoy the game. Unless, of course, you're a fan of the opposing team. In that case, well, good luck with that.